Rumors: It’s Deja Vu All Over Again

By: chris | December 13th, 2007

Russotto Is Breakin’ Hearts

I’ve got to sheepishly admit that despite Andrea being an ex-Lazio product, I am completely and utterly fascinated by this kid. He is so farkin talented it’s disgusting, and everything he does is so smooth, so cool, with such vision and every move brimming with ability (remind you of anyone?). I’ll even go as far as saying I’d prefer him over Alessio Cerci, despite his goal totals for Pisa, and the fact that, you know, he’s owned by Roma (making him free). Cerci is very talented, but how many (relative) surprise Serie B phenoms have gone onto be complete busts? Russotto is just very very special.

So what did Andrea do? Crushed my dreams:

“Sono cresciuto nella Lazio, sono stato costretto ad andare via. Mi fanno piacere le voci di mercato sul mio ritorno in biancoceleste, ma il mio agente non mi ha avvertito di nulla. Io sarei molto interessato perchè vivo a Roma e sono un tifoso laziale – ha spiegato intervenendo a Radio Spazio Aperto -. Non farò problemi di soldi, ma dovrei condividere il progetto. Mi sento simile a Pandev, posso giocare in qualsiasi ruolo d’attacco. Mi sento spesso con il mio ex compagno De Silvestri, che mi parla molto bene di mister Delio Rossi. Fosse per me, tornerei subito alla Lazio, non so cosa darei per giocare un derby, anche solo Primavera. Non andrò mai alla Roma, non prenderei nemmeno in considerazione un’eventuale offerta dei giallorossi”.

Goddamnit. (And if you don’t speak Italian, just put all those nons with Roma and you get the picture. Now go take some Prozac with Amantino.)

Talentino

Another day has passed, more regrets from Antonio.

“Tornando indietro, non andrei via da Roma, ho fatto un grandissimo errore. ma la societa’ ci ha ricamato un pochettino, nel senso che mi hanno promesso alcune cose che poi a un tratto non c’erano piu’. E io ho un orgoglio molto forte. Stiamo parlando di un po’ di soldi. Non sono venale, tutti quanti pensano ai soldi, quelli che dicono che non pensano ai soldi, dicono sono solo bugie’. Roma e’ stata per cinque anni casa mia, mi sento spesso con Amantino Mancini, seguo sempre la squadra giallorossa”. Il fantasista della Samp manda anche un messaggio distensivo a Totti: “Sono piu` di due anni che non parlo con lui, abbiamo avuto delle divergenze, ma lui fondamentalmente e` un bravissimo ragazzo. Io quando andro` a Roma lo salutero` senza nessun tipo di problema perche` lui oltre ad essere un gradissimo calciatore e` una bravissima persona. Gli faccio gli auguri di Buon Natale, a lui, a sua moglie, ai due bambini e alla sua famiglia”.

Basically, he wishes he’d never left, that the club made promises they couldn’t keep, and that he was full of pride, wasn’t about the money, yadda yadda, he thinks Francesco is a stud, he wishes Totti a buon natale, and also to Ilary ad the kids.

God, these two have just been spouting off to the press these last week how much they respect each other as football players and all that lovely stuff. You know, one Merry Christmas is all it takes sometimes.

Bringin’ Back Some Names

The key…

Paris Hilton.: The sure thing, deal imminent.
Lindsay Lohan.: The 95%, final details in the works.
Pussycat Dolls.: Very likely, things are heading towards Paris.
Fergie.: Looks alright, but don’t touch it.
Mariah Carey.: All types of insane. Doesn’t even look good.
Jessica Simpson.: The 50/50.
Jamie Murray.: Just below the 50/50, might happen, but most likely will not.
Elisha Cuthbert.: A tough sell, but the right offer could seal the deal.
Ali Larter.: Very unlikely now, but come back a little bit down the line.
Keira Knightley.: Almost impossible. Almost.
Jessica Alba.: Pure fantacalcio.

Some of these names are one which have popped up recently, some haven’t but might be due for a return. We’ll run ‘em down nonetheless.

Yoann “Hello Kitty” Gourcuff CM (Milan): Rumors are saying a possible loan in the winter for the rest of the year, and there is only one way I see this being possible: Somebody is a lot more hurt than they’re letting on. Where does he fit in? TGIP doesn’t rotate, and Brighi has proven himself to be a very capable back up through the center of the midfield. Smells made up. And I’d like to somewhat limit the Frenchness here, please. (Minus Mathieu and/or Nasri. Definitely Nasri.) God, we can only stand finishing second for so long. SSR: Mariah Carey

* – I wrote about this in one of my very first posts, but doesn’t Yoann look like he wears makeup and carries a Hello Kitty purse? Definite no. Look, I’m alright with any sexual preferences, but I draw the line at lipstick, blush, handbags and/or tampons.

Yuri Zhirkov AM (CSKA Moskva): Worthy of his own spot yesterday. If Amantino is sold, I’d put this one at very likely just because from what we know Rosella is never one to do anything early or on time (which includes getting out of the tanning bed on time), and they did supposedly contact CSKA according to CSKA (always a good source). Until then, fantasy. SSR: Ali Larter, potentially a Pussycat Doll soon.

Another vid from a Russian website:

Like Lorenzo said yesterday, you can never really tell from youtuber videos, but this kid clearly has amazing lower body control. I’d buy that off a highlight reel any day, and it looks like he was born to draw fouls. My enthusiastic thumbs up for a Mancini replacement.

Olof Mellberg DF (Aston Villa?): Rumors have it that he’s a fan of not competing in Europe in a prison outfit for a tainted club, and that he also likes to slap orphans in the face with a fraternity paddle (see how quickly I can turn? it’s a gift, I tell you). Looks like it’s not happening. SSR: Elisha Cuthbert

Francesco Modesto LB (Reggina): The biggest question now isn’t “does Roma want Modesto?”, but whether or not Antunes is ready for vice-Tonetto duties. Considering Spalletti’s use of kid gloves with, well, kids, it’s kind of doubtful he has worked himself into a rotation role in 90+ minutes, no matter how impressive he was. But it may be a consideration when Marco Cassetti comes back, allowing the kid to get 20 minutes here, 30 minutes there, while Marco takes the brunt of the backup duties when an eclipse comes and Max needs a night off. Thus making a vice-Tonetto right now a bit superfluous. SSR: Jaime Murray

Jeremy Mathieu CB (Toulouse): Expect to hear his name a lot, not only as a vice-Tonetto, but as someone who can fill in everywhere. And for 2008-09, not the spring. SSR: Ali Larter mixed with a little J. Simpson and increasing

Fuck it…

Antonio Cassano ST (Sampdoria via Madrid): Never, right? Right? Right… SSR: Keira Knightley