Oprah presents ; The Color Purple in Rome

By: Marco | February 23rd, 2008

That’s right; the color purple is coming to town and is bringing Adrian Mutu along. Oprah assures us that this encounter will be nothing less than ”Joyful and soaring!” Now that’s what I call over-hyping the game!

Honestly, this is a must win game. Irrationnaly, I’m an eternal enthusiast and totally think Roma still has the chance to win something this year. The Scudetto is still a mathematical possibility. Who knows, the Liverpool loss has maybe opened up some wounds and we will see Inter lose against Milan, Juve and Roma and then tie some team like Fiorentina again. I need to stop chugging down Scope in the morning…

Chris had a tragic accident with some Listerine breath strips and will be unavailable to preview the game against the Viola, but he would like to relay his thoughts.

Chris wants to like Fiorentina. Chris knows Roma fans aren’t supposed to like Fiorentina, but he doesn’t care. Chris likes their play, likes their team, likes their coach, likes their city and likes the color purple (too much). Fact is, Chris can’t stand that classless little shit Adrian Mutu. Chris really can’t stand him. Saturday night before the game, Chris would like to take him out for a nice dinner. Maybe go with a little lobster fra diavolo (Chris is a fiend for it), keep everybody on their toes. When Mutu was in the bathroom, Chris would spike his drink with some sort of drug which old guys at clubs drop in the drinks of unsuspecting young girls because they were denied one too many times early on - drugs that Chris is glad he doesn’t have enough knowledge of to give a specific name.* Chris would drag Mutu down the street by his ankles - hitting all potholes along the way, obviously - before taking him into an alley. There he would stuff Mumu’s face in a mound of coke a la Tony Montana - not the good stuff, some shitty stuff laced with talcum powder and Tabasco sauce - before dropping him off at the doorsteps of the FIGC with a written confession in Romanian. Which wouldn’t be actually Romanian, but some English-Dutch-Italian-Russian hybrid which is illegible but looks sorta legit if you have no idea what you’re doing (helllllooooooo, FIGC); while Adriana also confesses that he thinks Marco Donadel is sexy - in a wide-eyed, didn’t-see-that-coming-but-hey-it’s-college-shit-yeah-I’ll-experiment frat guy kind of way - and that he was thinking of Marco while with that London prostitute who may or may not be a man anyway, potentially making this whole confession scenario moot. Mutu would be booted from footballing for life and the calcio world would be a much better place and Roma would win 9-0. Butterflies and cupcakes all around.

(Chris would also like to inform everyone that he’ll be speaking in 3rd person from here on out and he has no idea what he just wrong. Chris would also like to say Forza Roma.)

* GHB Chris !

Last Time ;

Roma

Squads : Juan and Mancini are the notable roman absences. Maybe we will get the chance to witness Mirko Vucinic’s return to the Starting 11. But you never know with Spalletti…. For those of you wishing to see a 4-4-2,4-4-1-1 or a 3-5-2 I would like to say HA! Ain’t gonna happen.

Probable:

Roma (4-2-3-1)

Doni;
Cicinho, Mexes, Ferrari, Tonetto;
De Rossi, Pizarro;
Taddei, Perrotta, Vucinic ;
Totti

Firoentina ;

For all things La Viola, Ted has an excellent, and i by excellent i mean excellent, post up on the Fiorentina page…

Squads: Vieri and Gobbi are the only injuries Prandelli has to cope with

Probable Formation :

Fiorentina (4-3-3)
Frey;
Ujfalusi, Dainelli, Gamberini, Pasqual;
Donadel, Liverani, Montolivo;
Santana, Pazzini, Mutu

Who: Roma (2nd place, 48 points) v Fiorentina (4th place, 41 points)
When: Sunday, 24th February 2008, kick-off 15:00
Where: Stadio Olimpico, Roma
Streams : Here

Dr. Phil’s Categorical Matchups. (Tomorrow : Twins on Heroin !!! )

Tired Legs vs Contused Legs:

Both teams had matches mid-week due to their respective European obligations. So the Giallorossi can’t say that the Viola had some fresher legs. Both teams are tired and will be playing on Wednesday. I don’t expect this game to be a very high octane affair.

Adrian Mutu vs the Giallorossi Defense:

Lately. Adrian Mutu has been scoring howlers all over the place, some as far away as Norway. The young Romanian non-gypsy is by far the most threatening weapon the purple people have on the pitch. Let’s hope the Juan-less Defense can limit his efforts.

Luciano Spalletti vs Cesare Prandelli :

If it weren’t for the saddening illness of Cesare’s wife, Prandelli would be the man on the Roma bench today. I truly believe that. His insanely short stint on the Giallorossi bench is the reason Roma had bought Matteo Ferarri.

As much as i respect TGIP, I prefer Cesare Prandelli’s class and the way he works with youngsters. The gaffer is as classy as it gets and he knows how to read a game and make the most of what he has. Let’s see if TGIP can learn a thing or two and start adapting his team to the match that’s being played on the pitch, not on paper.

David Pizarro vs Chris:

DP needs to understand that scoring against Real Madrid isn’t enough to be in the good graces of Chris. DP would need to score the winning goal (No deflections allowed) in a Roman derby and then pull King Alberto out of a burning building, thus saving his life. Just then, DP might get some love from Chris, but even the above mentioned scenario doesn’t guarantee unconditional Chris appreciation!

Prediction : 4-2 As Roma

This game will give us the chance to witness the ghost of Azzurri midfield Future in Montolivo, Aquilani and DDR. With those 3 we’re well covered until 2014 at least…

Goal scorers Totti, Vucinic, Cicinho, DDR, Mutu and Liverani . They never happen anyway so I’m going with what I’d like to see. Totti Scores 1st gets that 2 millionth appearance in a Giallorossi shirt and then heads off to the bench to take it easy before the black and Blue bring on Crystal Chivu. Vucinic and Cicinho need goals for their confidence and DDR a.k.a. the Future of this squad a.k.a the only guy that can make Totti’s impending retirement easier to swallow a.k.a. the Best Midfielder in the world (Fuck it, I said it). DDR just deserves a goal because he’s DDR. He does the dirty stuff , the useful stuff, every little thing the team needs and even if he gets a lot of credit for his play, it’s still not enough in my book.

Forza Roma ! Forza Ragazzi !