Inter Sucks & Other Similarly Intelligent Musings

By: Chris | June 14th, 2007

It’s now pseudo-quasi-official, David Suazo has signed for Moratti’s Mercenaries and will join the other 87 strikers on the Inter depth chart. That’s not the news. The news is that Roma apparently blew the deal by being “polite.” We know Roma was asked not to contact David regarding a contract in February via Cagliari’s request, even though a deal had supposedly already been struck with the Sardinian’s. But apparently, Roma waited too long to contact him after the end of the season and lost his services to Inter, even though the Giallorossi were the clear front-runner in everyone’s mind. After Roma saw it prudent to relay their interest, it was already too late - even though Suazo issued a Roma-come-and-get-me plea.

So who’s fault is this? Hard to tell. We can look to Cagliari for asking Roma not to contact him, even though his departure was imminent. But they were mired in a relegation battle and it’s hard to blame them for asking for 100% focus from their star player. Suazo? I can’t blame him if the interest wasn’t conveyed by Roma. He genuinely may not have known about the February contact. Suazo’s agent? Maybe. Knowing Roma were in love with David and vice-versa, he should’ve at least put in an inquisitory phone call. Rosella Sensi? Quite possibly, since she seems to have a Medusa-like effect on transfer targets.

But you know who I’m going to blame? Christian Chivu, because he has kept Roma so wrapped up in his contract situation that they can’t go out and improve the team. Daniele Prade probably has an apartment and country club membership in Romania by now with all the time he’s supposedly spent there. Considering Roma was focused on trying to keep one of the key components of the current squad, they couldn’t figure out where they stood in terms of needs for next year; who they needed to try and purchase, and whether or not a striker was an unwise buy. Either way, Rosella Sensi needs to be relieved of her duties, hopefully soon. She’s way in over her head.

No matter what, it’s highly unlikely Suazo moves to Rome until his contract runs out. As soon as Moratti announced his signing ~~she~~ he also revealed that Suazo’s price is now roughly half the GDP of Italy. The minute you put on a Nerazzurri shirt your value skyrockets, because they’re like the best team ever. I’ve always thought Inter was sort of a nuisance, but now I’m beginning to loathe them. I was against Juventus being demoted to Serie B because of parity and the belief that the best teams belong competing at the top, regardless of personal opinion. But I would absolutely love it if Inter was demoted and never heard from again. I’m going to make it my personal mission in life to serve up an Inter-based Calciopoli, even if I have to frame them myself. If, in 3 years or so, you hear that a hooker was murdered while giving Moratti cunnilingus, it’s just a coincidence. Got it? Just a coincidence.

Also, I blame me for allowing myself to fall in love with idea of David Suazo coming to Rome. You know, I opened myself up against my better judgment and I was crushed once again. Now I’m all alone and picking up the pieces of my shattered heart. I’m never allowing myself to open up again. I swear.

* - By the way, my other life mission is to now find a way to sneak cunnilingus into the US National Spelling Bee. How many kids do you think would have a clue? One? Two if Daddy never hugged them? And who wouldn’t want to hear a 12 year old ask for that definition? And yes, I would sell my soul to Lucifer to read the origin aloud.

I feel like I’m about to be banned from the internet.

Let’s Move This In A Slightly More Legal Direction aka The News:

I) Fiorentina have asked for Alberto Aquilani from Roma, and were supposedly told immediately to fluff off. Still, the report valued at Aquilani at 10m euros, a little low in my not-so-esteemed estimation. Though I still think Rosina is worth at least 15m, so what the hell do I know. Now, I really respect the Della Valle family and I think they have down wonderful things for the Viola, but come on. Get a clue guys. Not a chance.

II) Just to clear this up, no matter what happens with Fab Qags, Rosina or anyone else this summer, I believe Gianluca Curci should go out on loan (not co-ownership). He needs at least a full year of starting eleven experience.

Curci is also out for today’s game against England with his injury, which is reported as a pulled thigh muscle. Good news.

III) Ahmed Barusso will complete his signing within a couple days. I love continually reading how he is an “unknown” player from various websites. If he’s so unknown, then why have Milan, Inter, Arsenal and Juventus all tried to sign him?

IV) I forgot to mention one more thing regarding Adrian Pit (Pronounced ‘Piz’) yesterday, he’s 24 years old. I’m really trying not to be too hard on the guy because I have yet to see him play (not sure anyone outside Bellinzona has either) but he’s not a kid. I’m trusting the Roma scouting department on this one, but my hopes are low. Real low. Like strung-out hooker who’s still calling Bobo Vieri despite the fact that he now plays for Atalanta low.

V) Palermo nuck-futter Maurizio Zamparini has stated there is interest from Sampdoria, Lazio, Torino and Roma in Andrea Caracciolo. I don’t get it. He wasn’t thrilled whatsoever to come off the bench in Palermo and asked to be shipped off. Where is he going to play in Spalletti’s lineup? I’m pretty sure he can’t play the wing adequately enough for Roma to be contenders.

That aside, I’ve always liked Caracciolo - though I do admittedly have a tall-person bias. He is a pretty good targetman, a poor-man’s Luca Toni, and would head in quite a few crosses coming in from the wings at the Olimpico. However, considering that irreplaceable 4-2-3-1 with Totti up top, I don’t see a bench spot appealing to him.

VI) Roma has offered 4m euros for Julien Faubert, but his agent said they will likely need to double that number to get Bordeaux to bite. 7-8m is a pretty decent price for Faubert so I don’t know if Roma is screwing around and really isn’t interested or what. But if they don’t act quickly the agent is threatening that he will move to the Prem. I am fully in the Faubert-camp, hopefully they bring up their offer a tad to at least keep Faubert & Bordeaux interested while they figure out the Fab Quag’s - Rosinaldo situation.

VII)Apparently the standoff between Totti and the FIGC has kicked up a few degrees. Francesco is supposedly buddy-buddy with Gigi Riva, who is the director of FIGC and also top scorer in Azzurri history (35 in 42, phenomenal record), as he has been the mediator between Totti, Donadoni and Abete (FIGC prez). Now Gigi wants a reply, and quickly, so they can prepare for the September 8th match-up against Les Bleus. Gigi makes things plain and simple:

“Clearly though, we cannot have any doubts from that point onwards. There must be a clear and definite decision.”

I guess Totti must make it official soon. Though, while I might be surprised, I wouldn’t be completely shocked if he announced his international retirement instead. New baby, long year after a major injury and little rest, FIGC ultimatum…..I’m not saying it will happen. I just don’t think it so unlikely it would be followed by hell freezing over or Rosella Sensi making an intelligent decision.

The Great David Pizarro Debate Wages Onward:

Alright, this has become a full-fledged debate - so let’s bring up some more points:
i) Goal totals for 05-06 & 06-07: 70 & 74, respectively. Sans Pizarro the offense was quite adept at making plays. In fact, seeing as how Totti missed a significant chuck of time, one could argue they likely would’ve surpassed that total had he not broken his ankle. The rest of the offense has gone largely unchanged outside of the January acquisition of Wilhelmsson and Tonetto as essentially a left wing playing back.
ii) Roma assist leaders:
Totti* - 10
Pizarro - 6
Taddei - 5
Mancini - 4
De Rossi - 4

* - Also the co-leader in Serie A. What a feat - capocannoniere & assist leader.

While I know this isn’t a definitive statistic - it doesn’t measure passes that are just superb passes or the synthesis of a counter attack - it still shows he wasn’t the key to the offense (Totti was). Plenty of other players had a hand in the goals. All the above listed also scored more goals than Pizarro, who had one.

Can you tell me if Aquilani played 25-30 games in Pizarrro’s position he wouldn’t create a similar number of goals while preventing many more defensively? I’d be willing to bet a substantial amount he would.

iii) I think that the fact that Totti was the assist leader really implies the direction of the offense wasn’t set up through controlling possession and distributing passes after everyone is in position, which is Pizarro’s strength. This isn’t Milan, where a Pirlo-type player orchestrates the majority of the offense. Totti had a tendency to drop back a bit further than a normal striker and take the ball into his possession. Unlike most forwards, who dump off passes or start running straight at the defense, Totti would hold the ball and wait for those famed Spalletti “waves of attack” to overlap him. The wingers would come through from the touch line and make their way into the box, then Totti dishes a through pass or knocks the ball out to the wings for a cross. The fact is, even though Totti is playing up top, in the offense, he still is the playmaker. It’s not Pizarro.

The Spalletti System is based on the wings and crosses coming in, especially with the offensive-minded fullbacks currently on the team. Watch this video of all Roma’s goals from last season (now tell me Totti is not the playmaker, I dare you). How many goals actually came from a distributing midfield position? Very few. As long as the holding mid can adequately get the ball to the wings or Totti, and that’s not too much to ask, then the offense is in very good hands. Defensive mids who can pass accurately aren’t a rare commodity, and Aquilani can fill that role very competently. That includes beginning a counter-attack, which Aquilani can actually join because of his pace.

Also, as a “maestro” in this system supposedly, Pizarro isn’t in charge of players getting in the correct position off the ball, that’s Spalletti’s job. Which he does exceptionally well. I’m not saying Pizarro isn’t a good player in the system, I’m saying I believe he can be replaced very easily with a holding mid who can also play defense.

iv) As far as Aquilani’s long passing goes, I’m not sure where the myth comes from that he can’t dole out long balls. The boy can pass, and I’m not referring to the rabona. He is technically sound.

v) Remember these? When Aquilani pushes up De Rossi drops back and defends or vice-versa. Pizarro can’t drop back to defend. Or, he can - but he’s very limited. An Aquilani - De Rossi tandem would be able to switch off accordingly, whereas Daniele currently has to haul ass back to defense whenever he’s partnered with David.

vi) I saw an argument regarding Pizarro’s lack of defensive prowess justified by his “ability” to stop the attack by fouling. Giving up valuable set pieces is a good thing? I believe that justifies my reasoning more.

vii) The name that continually pops into my head in this discussion is Jeremy Mathieu of Toulouse. He plays along the back four, as a defensive midfielder and is known primarily for two things: His defensive/tackling ability and his long accurate passes, especially on the counter attack. Would he not be an ideal solution for Pizarro? Someone who can pass almost as well but also is an outstanding defender? Roma may wait until next year after his contract is up to sign him, but a rotation of he and Aquilani would be ideal to me.

* - If the Pizarro negotiations prove too difficult, which I expect, Mathieu’s name should come to the forefront again. They’ve been after him for what seems like ages now, and would be a superb replacement to Pizarro at half the price.

No matter how it shakes out, I have no pull in Rome on who goes where or who plays, nor should I. The Spalletti man-crush is also a big factor (they were together at Udinese, which I think we’ve all noticed has produced quite a few Luciano man-crushes) - so it’s really a moot point, but it’s just my opinion and I could be wrong about David. But I do enjoy hearing the readers point of views, so let me know if I’m a moron or whatnot (and don’t take it so seriously, a lot of it is just for entertainment purposes to keep you guys interested).