A Potpourri of Useless Flapdoodle

By: chris | July 13th, 2007

Chivugate:

Becali: “I do not fear repercussions for Chivu. He acted as a great professional throughout. On Sunday Cristian must attend the pre-season training camp, but we await a miracle…”

I’m glad to know joining Roma’s bitter rival is his “miracle.”

Classy guy, that Chivu.

Also, his official website is asking the readers in a poll where they think he should go next year. Hell comes to mind. (Anybody else enjoy those “Hi, I’m Cris Chivu and this is me be being playful, now sad, now I’m serious” photos? I bet there’s a Magnum pose somewhere in there)

Roman Nuggets:

I) Alessio Cerci is headed to Pisa on loan with an option to buy at the end of the season. Which is the exact same move Roma made with Brescia last season but Brecia decided they didn’t want to fork out the €250,000 to buy him (I think it was €250k, could’ve been up to €500K - whatever it was, it was real low). I’m going to go ahead and guess that was a big punch in the gut for the kid, injuries or not.

II) It looks like Franco Semioli is now considering a move to Napoli. Awesome. We need to set a date and start taking wagers on the over/under for him to make a decision. August 24th, anyone?

This also brings up something I’ve noticed. When was the last time all three promoted teams had this much buying power? Juve is a big boy and has been throwing money around like Pacman Jones at a strip club, Napoli is drawing significant interest from Roma/Fiorentina type targets and Genoa has been linked to some decent names as well. I’m all for the rest/ease that was sometimes evident with Roma’s schedule last year, but next year’s Serie A should be fun and extremely competitive. Yes, I’m terrified.

III) With the loans of Stefano Okaka Chuka and Vincenzo Montella, does anybody else think selling Shabani Nonda is no longer a foregone conclusion? They are obviously in need of at least one more player at the position, and they’re in trouble if Mirko Vucinic or (God forbid) Totti gets injured, and even moreso if both are on the pitch at the same time - which I’m expecting more of next season. Obviously Mancini and possibly Mauro Esposito could fill in as emergency options, but neither are ideal options up top in a 4-2-3-1 or 3-2-3-2. Nonda was supposed to be a simple deal being sold to Blackburn, but Newcastle popped in and now Wigan is reportedly interested. Nothing is easy for Roma. Not even pre-determined sale agreements.

Nonda might not be the best option, but he’s certainly got talent, as evidenced by the €20m (!) fee handed over by Monaco a few years ago (would somebody give them a call and see if they want him back? Slight discount this time). He scored 7 goals in the Prem last year, not great but not bad either. But more importantly, he is a warm body - we assume - who could provide depth without having to fork out a transfer fee. I also recall seeing this listed by his agent as an option about a month ago (then saying he would become a free agent after the year). I wouldn’t be opposed to it, especially if Roma can’t get a decent price from EPL teams for him. If Darren Bent is worth €26m and Nonda can’t even net €3m from the same league, well that’s just downright embarrassing for Shabani - somebody get him a hug.

IV) As reported above and speculated for the last 6 weeks, L’Aeroplanino has headed out on loan to Sampdoria, with Roma paying half of next year’s salary (roughly €2.7m). It’s becoming very likely that Vincenzo Montella has seen his last day at the Olimpico as a Roma player, which is a foreign though to so many Giallorossi fans, myself included. Seeing him play for Fulham was very surreal for me because he’s been in Rome for so long it’s hard to picture him pulling on another jersey. I hope he flourishes at Sampdoria and goes out with a bang.

V) We have word from Razvan that the Becali brothers are actually Ciprian Marica’s agents, so you can probably cross him off the wishlist. Mr. Razvan was kind enough to take time out of his busy vacation to give us this delightful news. And I hope when you say “vacation in Greece” you mean “camping outside the Becali brothers office with a sniper rifle and Rambo.”

VI) Mancini’s agent is in Rome for extension talks, after which he’ll go to Milan to discuss the future of Alexandre Pato. Expect a lot of those extension type thingies to start popping up post-Chivugate. Daniele De Rossi is next.

This is the best Roma news I’ve heard in awhile. Oh, and that whole channel 4 ultimatum or send me to Liverpool thing? Ridiculously taken out of context from the actual interview. No ultimatum.

If he won’t renew? He’s getting sold ASAP. Unfortunately. Luckily his demands seem to be very very reasonable (even less than what I expected they’d pay him). Imagine how Chivu will feel when Mancini, who for all accounts and purposes is more valuable to Roma than Chivu (variety of reasons - including Juan), signs a contract for a fucking fraction of what Chivu is asking. I think this is two fold to a) avoid a Mancinigate and b) shove it in Chivu’s face that he’s just not worth what he thinks he is, or even close to it.

* - Btw, I coined the term Chivugate a while ago. I’m 99% sure I’m the only person who has come up with it if only for the reason that it made completely no sense whatsoever at the time. Now that it looks like there may be a legal battle and/or investigation and it is now truly Chivugate, do I get like a prize or something? A cookie at least? Maybe one of those Burger King crows that says King of Prognostication in magic marker?

The Flappydoodle:

I) I’ve decided to make an executive decision and name Roma’s official anthem for the 2007-08 season without a vote:

Journey - Don't Stop Believing
Uploaded by manon42

(Also a nice soundtrack as you peruse the rest of this post)

II) This may be slightly older news, but dorm room porn video rental warehouses never go out of style.

For any of my repeat readers, remember when I listed my “corrupters of the world.” Well, he was on that list and I had no idea about this little development.

I need to go take a scalding hot shower now.

III) Oh my:

French actor Gerard Depardieu has ignored a court summons to answer allegations he head-butted an Italian photographer. The Green Card actor stands accused of injuring paparazzo Dario Orlandi during a shopping trip in Florence, Italy with a female companion in October 2005. Despite being ordered to a Florence court last month, Depardieu failed to turn up.

I see how the French like to deal with confrontation. Real mature.

IV) I figured since everybody can use more culture no matter where they stand at the moment, we might as well cross intercontinental and sporting boundaries to learn something new. Boston Red Sox pitcher Daisuke Matsuzaka’s wife is known as ‘Rockets.’ Why you ask? I’ll give you one guess. Alright, two guesses.

EDIT: That is not actually “Mrs. Rockets” but a lovely young woman who is as gifted as she is, pointed out by our very own Mike, who suffers from epilepsy induced by the sight of talented Asian women (seriously, who the fuck reads the articles?) And, in his words:

“I was able to read the article on “Mrs. Rockets” as I panted like a dog. It turns out that the lovely pic is NOT of Daisuke’s wife, but really, who the f cares?”

Exactly. Who the f cares.

V) Quick observation: Anybody else notice how Yahoo! has taken this whole ‘Answers’ thing too far? If you go to the Yahoo! home page every main headline is followed with a ridiculous question, so that you have to click on the link to get the answer. Recent examples:

Lindsay Lohan was caught in a bathroom at a hot LA nightclub snorting cocaine off a toilet.
How much did she snort?

A man was involved in a tragic accident in Spain during the Running of the Bulls where he was gored in the rectum with a horn.
How far up his ass did the horn go?

Cristiano Ronaldo was caught in a Manchester hotel room with Boy George and George Michael.
How many licks did it take to get to the center of Cristiano’s Tootsie Pop?

You get the idea. They’re mildly absurd. Tone it down.

VI) I’m not really sure how this guy makes a living at this (hit photo gallery on the left hand menu then the second row, second picture in of the girl in the Roma jersey in the pic links - ancient web site), but I’d be willing so sacrifice my own dreams and goals and give it a shot for the sake of your knowledge. Because I’m just that type of guy. (NSFW)

Also, that’s the best use of a chin rest I’ve ever seen (middle column, second pic down). It sure beats that thing they have at the eye doctors. In fact, I vote they use that as the chin rest at the office. I can guarantee the vision of the global population would improve tenfold. Look at that, I just made a difference in the world. My life is complete. Check please.

VII) A quick warning, my fellow Giallorossi faithful may find it hard to contain their excitement at first site of the following picture. I almost passed out.

For those oblivious, that’s: Marco Delvecchio, Cafu, Walter Samuel, Francesco Totti (duh), Vincenzo Montella and Gabriel Batistuta. Oh glory days oh glory days…..

(Don’t stop believin, hold onto that feeeeeelin….)

VIII) Best Video Ever. (Of the week)

I’m not a big laugher, but I was rolling over for that one. You can have Corini, I’ll take Spalletti 8 days a week.

And would somebody get him a fucking jersey already? (2:38 mark)

IX) Zlatan’s Corner:

“What are you NOT going to say when you meet your teammates in Ajax for the first time?”:
“I am Zlatan, who the hell are you?”

Try and tell me you would be surprised if he actually said that. Just try and tell me that.

Ibracadabra (Pt. 1). He is so gifted it disgusts me.

X) Your gratuitous link to an Eastern European supermodel who could probably stand to eat a sandwich of the week. This lovely lady is actually from Montenegro, the same homeland as Vuci. Would somebody call him so we can get the hook-up? That’d be peaches.

XI) Quite possibly the single best football commercial of all time. It doesn’t get much cooler than this. (Also, a great showing of the Freddiehawk and Totti dominating Loo-eesh Fee-goh, obviously)

So this brings up the obvious debate question: In a three man team in a similar tournament, who would you take?

Me: Totti (duh), Mancini, De Rossi. (Mexes off the bench)

Alright alright, sans Roma?

Robinho, Zlatan, Gerrard. Robinho and Zlatan for their little-big combo of trickery and flair, with Gerrard as someone who can provide skill offensively while also cleaning up defensively. (I debated putting Rino on the squad just for the opportunity to put him inside a cage which could be absolutely amazing and terrifying all at the same time. You know what, scratch that. Sub in Gattuso for Gerrard.)

And I’d name them Panucci Overlaps.

Discuss.

* - GHD R2: Abel Xavier v Gennaro Gattuso coming up.