A Potpourri Of Useless Flapdoodle

By: Chris | June 15th, 2007

BIG-TIME UPDATE:

Reports coming from France are claiming Ederson is now an AS Roma player, for a fee of around 12m euros. Ladies and gentleman, we are talking about the next Ronaldinho here, and Roma has supposedly beat out Juventus, Lyon, Valencia and Lazio(!) for his signature. I really hope this is true - it’s absolutely out of the blue. If it is I will never say anything bad about the management ever again. Updates forthcoming.

- That 12m is the clause built into his current contract. If not he’d actually go for closer to 20m, and he’s only 21.
-There is now a question as to whether the Roman team was actually Lazio and the media was misinformed. I’m going to vomit.
-As far as the last point goes, if Roma was infact interested, I can’t imagine he would choose Lazio over Roma considering the fact that Roma may put the Brazilian flag on their unis next year. That and Lazio sucks.

For actual news, it looks like the acquisition of Ahmed Barusso is pseudo-quasi-official - which in Serie A means absolutely nothing. But he will or has already signed the contract (I believe nothing becomes officially official until July 1st when FIGC officials officially open up the transfer market) and is going to be property of Roma next year. I got really excited about this and spouted off a whole other post, so you’ll find out more about how really neat-o he is there. Cool? Cool.

Roma News & Gossip:
a) Cicinho’s agent has come out to declare interest from Roma. Did he really have no clue? Is Cicinho really keeping him out of the loop after saying last week there’s interest? That’s job security right there.

b) Claudio Bellucci has signed with Sampdoria which means Roma will have to set their sights elsewhere for an over-the-hill-striker-who-scores-beacoup-goals-for-a-bad-team. I vote for Rigano, I read the other day that before this season, at 32, he had scored 9 total goals in his Serie A career. This year? 19. Attaboy.

Oh, and are Sampdoria signing Bellucci because they’re about to lose a forward in one Fabio Quagliarella………..

c) According to Reggina’s president, Roma still have interest in Giandomenico Mesto, who they were rumored to be very close to signing last fall (anybody else wondering if the media mistook ‘Mesto’ for ‘Modesto’? Or vice-versa?). Apparently the other squad interested is Liverpool, though Juventus had supposedly all but put pen to paper with him earlier this spring. I’ve always liked Mesto and think he would be a great addition in the Roman midfield, but it’s getting really crowded there these days. Though he can play defense as well, and we all know versatility is the name of Spalletti’s game (which makes his love for Pizarro all the more confusing). I’m wondering if he’s one of the top Pizarro-replacement targets. Little else besides the vague statement from the prez, I hope more comes out of this.

d) The front page of il Romanista has a big picture of Julio Cruz on the cover as a part of some Chivu deal. I’m not even going to comment. It’s not worth it.

The Flapdoodle:

I) While we were arguing as to who should be getting the starting nod next year, Aquilani or Pizarro - Alberto was weighing in with his thoughts in the Netherlands.

Your move.

I’m not sure which I enjoyed more, the goal or the announcers stumbling their way through his name. I guess proper pronunciation is a non-factor in British broadcasting.

More Aquilani, how can you not want him on the field all the time?

il piccolo coccodrillo

Video of when he replaced Totti in the lineup in 05-06. Watch the goal against Lazio where he sends a through ball from deep then finishes off the attack by coming to the edge of the box and firing the ball low past Peruzzi. His ability to follow up his passes from deep brings an added dimension to the midfield. The vid ends after 6 minutes for the song to finish out, just a warning. (I miss those orange unis - if you think I’m joking you should see my closet)

Aquilaninho

* - The England goal and that last video have me convinced Roma has to forget about Fab Quag’s and get Rosinaldo at all costs. What a phenomenal midfield triumvirate he, Aquilani and De Rossi would make for the next 6-8 years.

II) That damn Swede is negotiating to stay in Rome for “at least another twelve months.” I can’t take a full season of frustration with his lack of football acuity. His runs are about as effective as dry-humping a blow-up doll in a snowsuit. Not that I have any experience with that whatsoever. Honestly.

Alright, I don’t really hate him that much - but it’s really so enjoyable to make fun of him, no?

III) Batigooooooooooooooooool!

That is all.

IV) I’m all for a tighter moral code than the majority of society currently holds, but this seems a tad excessive to me. Also, can we get a clear-cut definition of “corrupter of the world”? Can the guy who continually fucks up my coffee by putting in cream instead of skim milk like I ask be considered under this title? Because I’d gladly flip the switch on him.

By the way, I have blood-type illy dark-roasted fine grind. Don’t fuck with my espresso and/or coffee. Ever. I’m not even kidding.

I’m also thinking of giving the “corrupter of the world” title officially to: Roman Abramovich, Jean-Michel Aulas, Silvio Berlusconi (unless I marry and impregnate one of his daughters and he gives me enough money to buy Roma - then he’s awesome), that Jared guy from Subway, Amy Winehouse and anybody who claims that Pilates is a real exercise, because it’s not. It’s stretching you lazy ass.

V) I found this highly enjoyable:

Ex-Italy and Chelsea star Gianfranco Zola has blamed the influx of foreign players in the Premiership for England’s disappointing performances on the international scene.

Someone forgot to relay the memo to Zola that he actually spent 7 years playing for Chelsea, which is not, surprisingly, in Serie A. It’s in the Premiership, which plays in England. So, Gifran just blamed himself for the plight of the Three Lions on the international stage. Oops.

VI) Gratuitous Roma Is Awesome Video Of The Week. Warning: I’ve had that song in my head for roughly three weeks now. That and the De Rossi gol seizure. Though I have had worse.

VII) Zlatan’s Corner:

Due to popular demand, we’re making Zlatan’s corner a regular fixture, because I, as well as many others, cannot do without his over-the-top ridiculousness on at least a weekly basis. If we’re lucky, he’ll realize he needs to take his game up a notch for the benefit of society.

Quotes of the Week:
Is there anything that could stop you from becoming No. 1 in the world?
“An injury.”

It’s not even what he says, it’s how he answers questions so concisely and definitively. As if what he says is the Gospel truth (I’m sure he’d confirm that). Zlatan has to go down with Bobo Vieri and Eric Cantona as one of the greatest interviewee’s of all-time. Surely there are better, but those are the two that come to mind (though I’m not sure anything can top Cantona’s poetry after he drop-kicked that Crystal Palace fan).

Z: “Agents are just for selling bad players. The big clubs come straight to me.”

Unreal.

Ooo-oh-ah-ah-oooh-oooohh. Sing it with me. The concert.

Now, I don’t have the best attention span in the world. I’d probably compare it to Claudio Ranieri in terms of being able to allow things to stay status quo for, oh, about 12 minutes. But I actually sat and watched this whole video through in its entirety. The man is truly gifted.

VIII) The U-21 Championships have left me thirsting for better times, as Italia isn’t exactly putting out an up to par performance. They drew with England, thanks to Aquilan’s goal up top. The world-class creative midfield displays haven’t been unleashed, though Rosinaldo has looked phenomenal from what I have seen. How it effects his pricetag I’m not sure of yet, because he hasn’t done anything not normally seen in the northwest corner. The typical back-heels, darting runs, one-v-one match-ups in which he embarrasses defenders - all vintage Rosina. So we shall see, but I still don’t understand how he is valued at 10m - he has the potential to be a once in a generation creative influence.

Anyways, here’s a video of the best goals from Germania since the U-21’s are leaving much to be desired (Warning: QMC - Questionable Music Selection). The video was made by ‘Alarazboy’ - who also made the Nasri compilation from a few weeks ago; still the best footy videos I have seen on the net. As for the goals - my vote goes to Grosso, but I’m sure you knew that already.

The groove

The bass drum

By the way, anybody recall who was supposed to be marking Henry on his goal against Brazil? If it was Juan I don’t want him anymore. I had entirely forgotten about that little situation. I could probably forgive whoever it was if they failed to mark Alou Diarra or Florent Malouda, but we’re talking about Thierry Henry here. World Cup quarter-finals, biggest stage in the world, and someone makes a mental mistake in failing to mark the best goal poacher in the world? A mental lapse of that magnitude is inexcusable. Not that I care that much, it worked out alright for the Azzurri. (CAMPIONI DEL MONDO! CAMPIONI DEL MONDO! CAMPIONI DEL MONDO! Sorry bout that……)

IX) Anybody else truly terrified of an in-form, in-shape, hugely motivated Ronaldo who has had a summer sipping from the fountain of youth currently residing at the Rossoneri side of the San Siro? Yeah, me too. My only solace is that he and Adriano are now in the same city. Booze? Check. Cigarettes? Check. Questionably rotund female guests? Check. Drunken samba resulting in various injuries? Let’s hope.

Would somebody find a way to get Cassano sent to Milan? It’d be like a Heavy D & The Boyz reunion.

X) Better bald guy: Eugenio Corini or Luciano Spalletti?

I’m going to go with Spalletti, because nobody, and I mean nobody, can compete with the sheen that Luciano has going for him. I mean, that’s a phenomenal glow right there. Bald men dream of that day but rarely ever achieve it.

I can hear Martha’s footsteps as she sprints to the computer to defend Corini’s crown as king in the pantheon of man-baldness.