A Giallorossi Christmas List
By: chris | December 23rd, 2007
My gift list to Santa this year was very short (I don’t need anything, and please, for the love of God, don’t buy me clothes), but I wonder about the players. Say each of the Roma fellas were allowed one gift for Christmas, what would they ask for? Let’s take a stab at this.
Alexander Donieber
FocusFactor & Lithium.
Gianluca Curci
A fast forward button.
Carlo Zotti
A left testicle.
Julio Sergio Bertanoglio
Enough playing time to get down to one moniker.
Christian Panucci
A good, upstanding young woman who doesn’t do nudie calendars.
Cicinho
A season-ending injury to either Panucci, Cassetti or Spalletti’s brain.
Marco Cassetti
An Azzurri recall. (All in favor? Aye.)
Juan
A role in the Brazilian remake of Magnum P.I., because that stache is freakin’ awesome.
Philippe Mexes
All he wants for Christmas are his two front teeth. His two front teeth. His two front teeth.
Matteo Ferrari
Welfare checks.
Marco Andreolli
Stem-cell research.
Max Tonetto
Just For Men hair coloring.
Vitorino Antunes
For every game to be a meaningless Champions League match.
Daniele De Rossi
For Roberto Donadoni to either be fired or get a clue. (Former more likely.)
Alberto Aquilani
A nice, smooth rub down for his groin. And some elasticity. But mostly the first one.
David Pizarro
A wallbanger of Ludovic Giuly.
Ahmed Barusso
A time machine so he can go back to B.C. days and fight in the Colosseum, where he belongs.
Matteo Brighi
A lifetime supply of Bubblicious.
Mancini
A hooker. A hooker who deals Prozac.
Rodrigo Taddei
To play every game against Cagliari.
Mauro Esposito
A one way ticket back to Sardinia.
Ludovic Giuly
Miracle-Gro.
Adrian Pit
A pet snake named Chivu.
Simone Perrotta
A pair of Totti’s boots. The golden edition.
Francesco Totti
For Philou to reciprocate.
Mirko Vucinic
For Lega Calcio to allow him to wear the Montenegren NT shirt for Roma so he can score 75 goals in 2008 January.
Luciano Spalletti
For Roberto Mancini to shut the fuck up already.
Rosella Sensi
A room on the sun and some SPF Bacon Grease suntan lotion.
Daniele Prade
For Max to go down so he can finally take over that LB spot.
Me
One of each.
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Comments
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I was thinking about Andreolli’s situation last night and I came up with the following answer as to why he’s been injured since forever:
Apparently the guy is a pro defender greatly skilled and all, but if he started to play now then Inter would want him back right after it’s co-ownership with Roma expires.
So Rosella came up with that awesome long term plan which is to keep pretending the guy is injured, thus keeping his price tag at a minimum and making Inter forget about the day he was born so that when the time comes at the end of this season, Rosella could have him for some nuts and cracks.
To think we’ve underestimated her all along…
Posted from
Lebanon
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lol.. that would be wise..
Posted from
Netherlands -
Slim… that is a kind of Machiavellian plan I would conjure up! Very good!
Posted from
United States -
bye bye Brasil
Mancini?
Cici?
Doni?http://www.romanews.eu/news.asp?newsID=2265&pag=2
Secondo quanto afferma Sport Time, il notiziario sportivo di Sky Sport, il presidente Berlusconi starebbe pensando a Doni per sostituire il connazionale a difesa dei pali rossoneri. Il contratto di Doni scade nel 2009, la situazione potrebbe evolversi: il Milan, comunque, è alla finestra. Si parla già di colui che potrebbe prendere il posto di Doni: in cima alle preferenze ci sarebbe Marco Amelia del Livorno, che, già in passato, ha manifestato grande amore alla formazione giallorossa.
Posted from
United States -
I knew I forgot somebody.
Slim, I think you may be half onto something. I wouldn’t be surprised if this kid is going to need a wide spread epidemic to get onto the field for anything meaningful, until his ownership is fully decided.
Though knowing Inter it won’t matter. They’ll still want 15m for their half just because he once played in black and blue.
I assumed Pit was only brought on as part of an eventual entourage for Chivu so he’d stay around, and thus Adrian wants a replacement because CC is gone now.
Posted from
United States -
If Roma could get a solid, reliable and talented keeper to replace Doni while Curci grows at a snail’s pace (coughcudicinicough), I’d be more than fine with him in Milan. Go from one shaky Brazilian keeper to another.
Posted from
United States -
I also tried to find reason behind Andreoli’s situation, and Slim’s thinking sounds ligit from our (Roma)point of view.
As ever, I always follow the logic of “money and power” and that goes with Inter’s interests. I would not be surprised that we were “ordered” not to play this kid ever and give him back in the summer.
Posted from
Bulgaria -
Ujfalusi hasnt signed an extension yet … are we interested? I wouldnt mind having him in our squad.
Posted from
United States -
What should also be on your list… (and a Juventino list too)
INTER TO BEAT LIVERPOOL-
Not because I want Serie A teams to advance, not because I believe in Italian football (Inter isn’t Italian football, they are Argentinan football, just like Milan is Brazilian football) but because the longer their committment in Europe is….the better chance Roma, or Juve, have to catch up to them. If it was Roma-Juve on the last day, and a Roma win would clinch their scudetto over Inter, I would throw the game. Fuck Inter.Posted from
United States -
How about a little bit of consistency for the team?
Are Inter really going to slip up though?
Even with a couple of injuries and staying in the Champs Lg their squad is so vast!Totaly agree about Doni. Lets get Cudicini in sharpish!
Posted from
United Kingdom -
If we lose doni, maybe pick up lehmann?? I know he has had a horrible year so far at arsenal, losing the starting spot and all. But if we can get curci ready in a year or two, lehmann might be an OK choice if we lose doni.
Posted from
United States -
Doni is irreplaceable.he has saved us time n time again
Cudicini dont even play football, so come on people.Posted from
United States -
HAHA. Focus Factor. My roommate actually ordered a bottle of that stuff, pricelss.
http://goal.com/en-us/Articolo.aspx?ContenutoId=525752
Looks like Spaletti wants some backups for Christmas. I guess having Cicinho, Espo, Brighi, Ferrari, Giuly etc. isn’t enough. Those guys crack the starting XI in pretty much every side outside of Inter, Milan and Juve. If he doesn’t want them tell him to put them in the St. Vincent DePaul box outside of Palermo and Guidolin would be happy to take them.
Posted from
United States -
Spalletti wants not only backups, but hard players who don’t fold when things go wrong. You see why he begged for iaquinta and quagliarella BOTH this summer? The players you listed merely provided depth and are not youth players like Rosi and Okaka for example. Cicinho is not the player he wanted and prefers Cassetti’s monstrosity frankenstein strength even at right wing in attack as you saw against ‘Doria. The levels of class in the team have no been increased at the end of the day no denying that. Roma lack what’s known in Italia as “campioni autentici”
authentic champions … they need more bloody talent.
Posted from
United States -
That’s what you get for letting Cassano walk for nihil.
Imagine La Roma with Cassano? Di Natale? Rosina? Lucarelli? Even D’Agostino from Udinese, never shy of a tackle, is he still co-owned?
Ok fine how about Alessio Cerci? He on a free?
Posted from
United States -
Hahahahahha Cassanatta?
Boy was pregnant with Rosella’s tube child.
http://www.elpais.com/recorte/20060304elpepidep_2/SCO250/Ies/Cassano_entrenamiento_reciente.jpg
Posted from
United States -
I don’t know Paolo. When I think of Cicinho the word that comes to mind is talent. Sure he’s taken some time to get used to Serie A but just as he was showing his class Spalletti benches him. He dominated that Milan game. Giuly? Again, pretty classy, talented player. If Spalletti learned how to substitute properly, he wouldn’t be asking for more players. It would be hilarious if Lucio comes in January and parks his ass right next to Cicinho on the bench b/c Spalletti doesn’t trust him.
Posted from
United States -
Oh no I agree Cicinho is probably Roma’s 3rd most talented player. But he is not being used. So he is not impacting the team whatsoever. He’d made no difference and is a spare part at best. A non entity thus far, and is 3rd choice right back, and seemingly 4th choice right winger. Not a promising stature. The Milan match should have been Cicinho’s coming out party and he was ready to explode. He needed to have some belief shown to him, and Spalletti did not start him next match!!! Crazy, crazy, crazy I tell you that. Guily is a diminutive ageing wonder at this point who has been hot and cold. But again, he has not lifted the side and no longer has that galvanizing ability. Yes he is skilled but no longer a top tier footballer. He has not changed our culture and class. We haven’t added anyone of that calibre. Serie A is a tough, unforgiving league. Spalletti asked for Quagliarella or Di Natale and he recieved Esposito on half-owned after a cruciate injury. You see? Two years ago he wanted Iaquinta he got Vucinic instead. Now he wants Di Natale again and i hope the boy arrives in the window.
My preference would have been to ride with the likes of Cerci, Okaka, Rosi etcc for depth and instead of buying 5-6 bit players (which they are bar Juan) Roma to have purchased a true attacking champion with the total pot of cash.
Lucio is desired because Spalletti envisions an eventual return to his beloved 3-5-2 and now we have the wingbacks necessary for that in Cicinho, Antunes and Tonetto. No, they are not a prime Cafu or Candela, but nontheless.
What is Fred’s story from Lyon? He’d walk into our side.
Posted from
United States -
A dream come true —- AMELIA per ROMA!!!
Milan have targeted Doni to replace Dida. Insert your own joke here.
Let’s hope this happens. Doni is either Zoff’s clone or a demented donkeymule in goal, never consistent enough.
Secondo quanto afferma Sport Time, il notiziario sportivo di Sky Sport, il presidente Berlusconi starebbe pensando a Doni per sostituire il connazionale a difesa dei pali rossoneri. Il contratto di Doni scade nel 2009, la situazione potrebbe evolversi: il Milan, comunque, è alla finestra. Si parla già di colui che potrebbe prendere il posto di Doni: in cima alle preferenze ci sarebbe Marco Amelia del Livorno, che, già in passato, ha manifestato grande amore alla formazione giallorossa.
Posted from
United States -
I am happy about that if Milan pays well for Doni. My question is: will Curci be in goal for the rest of CL games?
Romanews says that he may go on loan…Posted from
United States -
AH, I see what you’re saying Paolo. I misunderstood you. I agree 100% that Espo off the ACL injury was not a move Roma could bank on. However, I think getting Vucinic over Iaquinta was a massive move for Roma. Vucinic is 10X the player of Iaquinta in my opinion, and younger too.
3-5-2 with Lucio = Watch out Serie A.
Posted from
United States -
Guys come on do you really think we are going to let Doni go in the next few days??
No.
He will be with us for a while.
As will Cici.
Posted from
United States -
If I may chime in on the Ricci/Paolo debate on Vucinic and Iaquinta, I like Iaquinta. While Ricci’s right in talking about perhaps technique, Iaquinta is a savage and totally has a different impact on a game. He can physically dominate teams, has far more pace, and is better in the box than Mirko. Can he beat 3 defenders on the byline and score a Sporting Lisbon Mirko special? No, but he would have a better return on Mirko’s putrid finishing with two gols in the league and add a dimension to the side which is lacking terribly. That being attitude, grit, nerve, and FIRE!!! Add that he’s Italian and that’s it for me. Alas, it’s a moot point.
Cicinho is here for the future, that is why he was purchased. He will be a Roma player for a long time yet but his impact will not be felt this season.
If Milan offer a deal Roma cannot turn down for Doni of course he will be sold. Highly unlikely, but tutto è possibile…….
Posted from
United States -
spaletti will no way in hell let doni go if he doesnt have a solid replacement (cerci is not the imediate answer). we would end up paying a lot to get another goalie and will just be a big distraction. goalie changes unless diear happen in the summer.
Vucinic is deffinetly better than inquanita. sure the guy needs work but hes young and is a much better investment.
im not so sure cicinho will end up staying. spalettis doesnt even so much throw the damn guy anything. nothing but commin on in the 80+ minute.
Posted from
United States -
Did you guys read Corriere Dello Sport today from Rome?
Mutu is the dream of Roma. In my opinion Roma r more liekly to sign Falcao or Bruno Conti.
http://www.corrieredellosport.it/Edicola.shtml
Posted from
United States
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