The Anthem:

Alright, the final installment of the four part season preview (because Roma is just so freakin sweet three parts just isn’t enough). The individual previews have already been released: Forwards, Midfielders, Defenders & Keepers. This is the overall breakdown:

LA ROSA

1. Gianluca Curci GK
2. Christian Panucci RB
3. Cicinho RB
4. Juan CB
5. Philippe Mexes CB
6. Aldair – Retired
7. David Pizarro CM
8. Alberto Aquilani CM
9. Mirko Vucinic ST
10. Francesco Totti ST (Captain)
11. Rodrigo Taddei RW
13. Marco Andreolli CB
14. Ludovic Giuly MF
16. Daniele De Rossi (Vice-Captain)
17. Edgar Alvarez RW
18. Mauro Esposito RW
20. Simone Perrotta CM
21. Matteo Ferrari CB
22. Max Tonetto LB
23. Shabani Nonda ST
25. Carlo Zotti GK
26. Adrian Pit LW
27. Julio Sergio GK
28. Aleandro Rosi RW
29. Ahmed Barusso DM
30. Mancini LW
32. Doni GK
33. Matteo Brighi CM
34. Gianluca Freddi CB
77. Marco Cassetti RB

THE COACH

Luciano Spalletti, known as The Grand Imperial Poobah around these parts, is one of Serie A’s premier coaches, and worthy of all the praise he’s acquired throughout his few seasons in Rome. In short, he’s a tactical wizard. The reason La Magica is seen as one of Europe’s premier joga bonito teams is because of TGIP and his unique attacking style. An offensive based system that operates largely without a true out and out striker but relies on duel contributions throughout the entire squad, including the much ballyhooed – at least around here – Roman Clusterfuck that sets up shop in the opponent’s box with regularity. Aside from his tactics, Spalletti favors the team concept, and wants no part of any players who threaten cohesive unity in his squad. After the debacle that was Antonio Cassano, TGIP has worked hard to create, at the very minimum, a civil feel within the locker room, and halt any public rifts within the confines of the Olimpico. As an added bonus to his own abilities, it is no secret that one of the biggest draws to playing for Roma is not a paycheck, it’s the potential to receive the vaunted Spalletti ass slap on a regular basis. One of these days, there will be a line forming outside Rosella’s office compiled of all the greatest player’s in world football willing to sacrifice all financial demands for the once in a lifetime chance to get a firm palm on the ass cheek from one Luciano Spalletti – mark my words. Kidding aside, he’s on the short list for one of the best coaches in Europe. Period.

TRANSFERS

In:

Juan – Bayer Leverkusen (€6.3m)
Cicinho – Real Madrid (€9m + €2m)
David Pizarro – Inter (Co-ownership resolved for €12m total)
Mirko Vucinic – Lecce (Option picked up for €10.75m)
Marco Andreolli – Inter (Co-owned for €3m)
Ludovic Giuly – Barcelona (€3m + €2m)
Mauro Esposito – Cagliari (Co-owned for €2.5m)
Ahmed Barusso – Rimini (Co-owned for €2.5m)
Marco Cassetti – Lecce (Co-ownership resolved for €3m total)
Adrian Pit – Bellinzona (Free)
Daniel Unal – Bellinzona (Undisclosed loan)
Keivan Zarineh – Rieti (Free)

Loan Returnees

Matteo Brighi – Chievo
Edgar Alvarez – Messina
Shabani Nonda – Blackburn
Carlo Zotti – Sampdoria

Out:

Cristian Chivu – Inter (€13m + 50% of Marco Andreolli)

Loan Returns

Christian Wilhemsson – Nantes (@#$% yeah baby!)
Rodrigo Defendi – Tottenham
Gilberto Martinez – Brescia
Francesco Tavano – Valencia

Loans

Vincenzo Montella – Sampdoria
Ricardo Faty – Bayer Leverkusen (2 years)
Daniele Magliocchetti – Cagliari (Serie A – not for long)
Stefano Okaka Chuka – Modena (Serie B)
Valerio Virga – Grosetto (B)
Simone Palermo – Rimini (B)
Alessio Cerci – Pisa (B)
Keivan Zarineh – Cisco Roma (C1)

Analysis/Awards:

Microsoft Stock in 1978 aka Best Purchase Award: Juan. He is, well, freakin’ sweet, and the best of the lot. I’ve said it a million times, so I’ll refrain from saying it was complete thievery, but it was quite thievish. He’ll make everyone forget about what’s-his-nuts soon enough.

Getting Out of the Way of Speeding Traffic aka Best Move Award: Getting Christian Wilhelmsson the fuck out of town. I can stop throwing shit at the TV now. Christ almighty he blows. Talented, but blows.

Federica Fontana aka Sexiest Pickup Award: Cicinho, easy. If Roma didn’t have the most exciting team in Serie A already, Cici clinched the deal. If he can stay healthy, it’s a fair price. If he can improve and start to fulfill his potential, it’s the steal of the summer.

Pulp Fiction Basement Scene aka Worst Bending Over Award: Duh. David Pizarro. €12m? Are you kidding me? €12 fucking million? Seriously?

Milk Was A Bad Choice aka Worst Move Award: Allowing Inter to come in a poach David Suazo out from under The Grand Imperial Poobah’s outstretched arms. You know, because Roma had to stay polite. At least Moratti did the classy thing, as usual, and obeyed the wishes of Cagliari. Oh…wait….

The What’s Your Name Again? Award: Chivu, because it’s going to happen a lot sooner than you think.

Julia Stiles aka Most Underrated Move Award: Ahmed Barusso. Talk to me in 2 years when Roman Abramovich is offering up Claudio Pizarro and the rights to Latvia for him, and Moratti is bitching to Rosella about how he gave her such a deal on Little David and that she owes him (classy AND logical…what a guy). Seriously, he’s a stud.

* – As far as Julia goes, she’s got an understated sexiness about her, not to mention she seems like a totally cool girl, which obviously vaults her about 12 notches of hotness immediately – if only because they’re about as rare as a 300-karat pink diamond. Plus, one of these days she’s going to put out a stellar acting performances and make everyone forget about Save The Last Dance. I hope.

THE FORMATION

CURVA TOTTI

In nearly every game the season, TGIP will employ a 4-2-3-1 system calling for a standard back line, two holding/defensive midfielders, a midfield line composed of two wingers and one trequartista and a sole striker up top. To the Roma novice, it sounds like a very complicated and layered system, but it’s somewhat misleading. Yes, it is fairly complicated, but it can be simplified quite easily: run your fucking ass off. Basically, run back to fulfill the necessary defensive duties, run towards and join the aforementioned Roman Clusterfuck, rinse, wash, repeat. That simple. Obviously there are set positions, but the fullbacks and even center backs are offensive oriented, the two “defensive” midfielders are two of Roma’s most talented offensive players, and the third option has little defensive skill to speak of. Then there’s the second striker, or trequartista, who spends half his days defending his own half. Two wingers will probably score 8-10 goals apiece and are one of the primary “through lanes” of the offense and both have the defensive abilities of a wingback; and then the striker, who duties including playmaking from the midifeld. So yeah, in short, run your ass off, defend, then join the Roman Clusterfuck on top. It should be a beaut.

Possible Alternates: 4-3-3; 4-2-1-2-1; 4-2-1-3; 3-2-3-2. None are likely outside of the last, but it could happen.

THE (SOMEWHAT REALISTIC) EXPECTATIONS

Last year was an important year by all accounts. Taking home a trophy is always a great thing, and finishing second while advancing to the quarter-finals of the Champions League in only TGIP’s second year is a hell of an accomplishment after the turmoil of the previous few campaigns. From the biggest of pictures, the Fabio Capello mess has been cleaned up officially now. Despite similar expectations, this new campaign is entirely different for many reasons – both positive and negative. First of all, it’s the end of Calciopoli with the return of Juventus and everybody starting with a clean slate, no more point deductions. Parity has returned somewhat, and the league has more depth, it appears, that at any point in recent years. That alone makes it a difficult campaign.

Next, despite only selling one key player and the rest returning on loan, the squad has overgone a minor overhaul, especially in the back four. Two new defenders who will see a lot, if not most, of the games will require something of an adjustment/evaluation period – not to mention the injuries to begin the campaign forcing some shuffling. The depth on the wings, one of Spalletti’s key areas marked for improvement in the summer, has improved greatly. If only because Chippen is now knocking balls off defender’s shins in the Prem. But it will take some time to see how well Giuly, Espo and Mirko can perform under the spotlight. The rest of the squad should stay relatively status quo and each respectively strong.

Third, that 7 week gauntlet of calcio hell. How well will Roma perform and then rebound? Will it be either focus on Serie A or CL? Will the squad, particularly the defense, be healthy enough by then? My feeling is this: Roma needs to take a minimum of 7 points from the first 3 weeks against Palermo, Siena, and Regina. That allows at worst two wins and a draw, which is more than doable – with 9 points a very real possibility. Then that leaves the 7 weeks of hell. As we all know, one of Roma’s worst problems is dropping points against weaker opposition – then playing their collective arses off against the big boys. With the new depth this shouldn’t be as much of a problem, so it’s fair to say Roma can easily take 6 points off the two “breathers” in the middle, Parma and Napoli. In the remaining 5 games against Fiorentina, Juventus, Inter, Milan and Lazio – I think they can and should take ten points. Beating Juve, Lazyo and Fiorentina while dropping one of Milan and Inter with a draw to the other. That leaves 23 points after 10 games, with a pansy schedule the rest of the way until the winter. Inter isn’t going to have nearly the season they had last year, and it won’t require 113 points to take the league this year. And if the performance in the Super Coppa was foreshadowing in any way, then taking close to maximum points is a very real possibility in these first ten weeks. After that, Roma can work itself towards that 7 week gauntlet in the second half a bit more smoothly.

As far as the true expectations go, Roma should grab a top four Champions League spot and make a respectable run in the Coppa – probably to the semi’s, considering the ridiculous depth they have at certain positions right now. The Champions League is a little hard to predict without seeing the draw, as well as the new scoring/weighting system, but Roma should advance past the group stages. Again, depending on the draw (as last year’s draw showed us, there is a big difference in Liverpool drawing Barcelona and ManU drawing Lille, or Milan drawing Celtic), another appearance in the quarter-finals is a very realistic goal, if not expectation. TBD.

THE PREDICTIONS

Serie A: Scudetto. How could I be considered the offside’s true Roma representative if I didn’t pick Roma? But honestly, if you stand back and look at things, it’s obvious Roma has shored up a couple of their most glaring weak points and now looks to be a great squad with a tactical wizar at the helm. If Roma gets a head of steam, they will be difficult to beat – because there is little question they can beat anyone in Europe on a given day. Also, this being the third year of Spalletti is a major key, and a factor people are not giving enough weight. Forza La Magica.

Champions League: Semi-finals. I still feel like destiny is calling in 2009, when the Final will be at the Olimpico. Still, an improved performance and enough to have Roma knocking on the door as a European powerhouse.

Coppa Italia: Semi-finals. The Scudetto run will force TGIP to rest nearly everyone.

Top Scorer: Duh, Il Capitano (23 goals)
Assists: Ummm…..Totti? Yeah, Totti. (8a)
Yellows: Mexes (16)
Reds: Mexes (2) Christ this is easy….
Best Player: Francesco.

Player To Watch Out For: Mauro Esposito. If he finds that rejuvenation machine…look out Serie A and hello 4 goals a game.
Player NOT To Watch Out For: Adrian Pit (Pronounced ‘Piz’) Honorable Mention: Daniele Prade
Player Expected To Improve The Most: Mirko Vucinic. Legend in the Making.
Player We Pray Will Improve The Most: Gianluca Curci. Fun fact: The 3rd leading cause of death in Rome is cardiac arrest due to Alexander Donieber.
Player Who Will Surprisingly Impress The Most: Marco Andreolli
Most Broken Legs: Ahmed Barusso
Most Goals Against Lazio: Simone Perrotta (3)
Most Illegal Midseason Contacts: Massimo Moratti
Best Surprising Inclusion of a WAG Midseason: Matteo Brighi
The Christian Wilhelmsson aka Focal Point of My Quasi-Logical Hatred Award: Christ, the only real option is Lulu Gulu – but I’ve warmed up to him (I don’t typically hate in season). So this award is being saved for Danny Szetela if he ever decides to embarrass Roma with his presence. But be assured, if Lulu starts missing 3-4 sitters per game on average, then this award is going to be his by a unanimous vote.
Most Spalletti Ass Slaps Award: Taddei (1,743)
Most Handbags Bought Midseason: Daniele Prade

Awards:
Daniele De Rossi - Best Midfielder in Serie A
Alberto Aquilani – Best Young Player in Serie A
Francesco Totti – Best Player In Serie A

You know, you’d think I was a homer (I am), but even most non-Roma (minus any Lazio fans) supporters would argue that’s a very real possibility. Totti is clearly the best player in Serie A, despite what Ricky Kaka fans think (his damage was done mostly in the CL anyway, and he’s nowhere near as consistent as Er Pupone). De Rossi is probably the best overall midfielder, and is elite when considering both attacking and defense. Aquilani is easily one of the top 3 young talents in Serie A, all while coming off a stellar U-21 tournament. Write it off, but it’s not illogical.

And with that, I give you this:

Forza Roma

UNICO GRANDE AMORE

* – Big thanks to Inara who gave me a rough guide with her Lyon season preview, as well as teaching me this whole “pictures in the center” thing.

Summer’s Over? Already?:

The summer for the boys is technically over at midnight tonight and they head to Trigoria for yet another awkward and tumultuous pre-season, thanks to our very own Romanian defender extraordinaire, He Who Shall Not Be Named (abbr. to HWSNBN). In case you missed Luciano Spalletti’s interview with Sky Sports yesterday, here it is. Surprisingly, he doesn’t seem as upset about the whole thing as the rest of us, but maybe he was drunk. He said he wasn’t upset about HWSNBN staying at all and he will have him at his disposal. Granted, no one would be upset about having a player of HWSNBN’s talent at his disposal, but this situation has nothing to do with talent. He’s been selfish and put Inter before Roma – both things which Spalletti has made clear are not welcome on his team many times in the past. I don’t think this is over, and it may very well cause some unrest amongst the players in the locker room. Though I don’t think this is remotely close to the Antonio Cassano saga of a couple years ago. It will be interesting to see what some of the players say about the situation, especially Totti, Daniele De Rossi and Philippe Mexes. I would expect them all to be diplomatic, but it will be interesting nonetheless.

The Roster:

Barring any developments in the next 24 hours, let’s take a look at how the roster shakes out to begin training camp. Obviously there will be a few changes here and there up until August 31st but for now, this is what it looks like:

GK: Doni has the starting job, and it looks as though right now Gianluca Curci will take the backup/Coppa duties unless he is loaned out. He could use the experience, but it’s not outlandish to think he could get significant time this season. Pushing Doni might be a stretch, but he could earn a longer look than expected. Carlo Zotti might be kept around until they decide what to do with Curci.

RB: Christian Panucci and Marco Cassetti look to be the two options heading into the season. Both solid, if unspectacular, fullwingbacks. The worry here is Panucci’s age and Cassetti’s defensive shortcomings, but they should be able to hold of until the January window if any changes need to be made. Julien Belletti’s name is still being floated around but what does he really provide other than another body? They need to get younger at RB (eventually), not pick up another guy on the wrong side of 30.

CB: Philippe Mexes and Juan will be the starters, with Matteo Ferrari rotating in and out. All three could even see time in a 3 backdefense. A fourth defender will likely come in, possibly Leandro Rinaudo. If not, Gianluca Freddi or Fabrizio Grillo will be the emergency backups, if neither are sent out on loan. Samuel Kuffour is still technically on the roster but he’ll be happily sold the first time anyone offers 12 lira and a Charms Blowpop.

LB: If HWSNBN plays, he will likely be the starter, with Max Tonetto backing up here and possibly LW. At this point, it’s too hard to predict, although Francesco Modesto is still a distinct possibility. Tonetto has been one of the biggest losers in this whole saga, as he had just earned a regular spot for the Azzurri and now looks to be pushed to the bench for the time being.

DM: Daniele De Rossi is here for the next, oh, 10-12 years barring major injury. David Pizarro will probably get the majority of the starting nods to begin with, but Alberto Aquilani will see beaucoup time here and as a backup to Simone Perrotta (even the most ardent Pizarro backers will admit it’s possible that Aquilani will be starting alongside De Rossi by the end of the campaign, he’s too damn good). Ahmed Barusso will get some time against lesser teams to begin with as well, and Matteo Brighi could also be used here if he sticks around. Easily the most talented and deepest position on the roster (Totti and Vuci usurp them talent-wise, but there isn’t nearly as much depth).

LW/RW: Mancini will get the bulk of the starts on the left with Taddei and Mauro Esposito platooning on the right. Tonetto could even see some time at wing if HWSNBN sticks around and plays. Edgar Alvarez, Aleandro Rosi and Valerio Virga are still on the roster (although the latter two are linked to Palermo, among others) and Mirko Vucinic could again see some time here, albeit out of position, so it’s not exactly life-or-death at the moment. But there may be another winger on the way in, in fact I would think so. However, the HWSNBN saga will need to play out before anything is really decided. At least it appears that way from the outside looking in.

CM: Simone Perrotta is the starter in all games that matter, with Aquilani and Brighi (if he stays) backing up. I’m all for Brighi staying. Some years ago Roma picked up another player who plays in a similar position at the same exact age from Chievo and he worked out spectacularly for them. His name? Simone Perrotta. Give the kid a chance.

FW: Il Capitano is here until he damn well pleases. Vucinic will get the majority of back-up duties and sub in for Totti when he needs a rest (how often Spalletti will use two strikers up top is a mystery at this point). As pointed out yesterday, Shabani Nonda is still on the roster and could stick around (brace for the press conference announcing his departure any day now). In case you missed it, Roma signed superstud Keivan Zarineh yesterday. Although he very well may be sent out on loan. There will be another signing in case Nonda leaves, as Vucinic and Totti will likely see more and more time on the pitch together this season. Vuci is too talented to sit on the pine.

Well, that about wraps it up to start the training camp. There will obviously be some changes, but it’s a quality starting point – provided they sort out this HWSNBN situation (meaning either ship him out or make sure his presence does not distract or divide the locker room) this team has every right to be optimistic. I do really think people are underestimating the acquisitions of Juan and Mauro Esposito. Juan is not a major drop-off from the “man” who used to occupy the CB spot opposite Mexes and has huge international experience. Esposito can provide big speed and a dynamic presence to the flanks when partnering with Mancini. I won’t predict a scudetto but I think they can get within the Champions League spots. Especially with the massive youth turnover occurring in Firenze right now, as I feel they’re the biggest threat right now to the top 4.

HWSNBNGATE:

As far as the HWSNBN saga, Spalletti was optimistic that a) negotiations could be re-opened with Inter and b) an extension was not unrealistic. Well, now we know Spalletti was drunk. The Inter offer is twice what Roma was offering before bonuses, and it’s become quite clear HWSNBN’s blood runs green, not Roma red and yellow. Obviously unless he has a sudden change of heart (highly unlikely) or Roma decides to match Inter’s offer (nigh impossible), he will likely be headed to Inter either this summer or next. (And yes, I did see that interview, but that has PR damage-control written all over it. He signs the contracts and he makes the decisions. Period.)

There were some rumblings in the last 24 hours that Inter were preparing to offer up a swap of Luis Jimenez. This is sketchy at best, because he is only on loan to Inter, and unless they buy out his contract from Ternana, it’s not going to happen. However, the valuation of Jimenez is something Roma would have to consider. The €11m it would take to buy out Jimenez is probably the best offer Roma will get from Inter, or anyone else willing to pay those absurd contract demands. When there is only one team left and they can sign him for free next summer, Inter doesn’t exactly have to offer up all the tea in China. Unless, of course, they really want him this year, which I and many others doubt.

I don’t think the Inter negotiations are broken beyond repair, so hopefully something comes up. I really can’t see how anyone wants this type of distraction at Trigoria or in the Olimpico locker room, even if that type of athletic ability is always welcome. The Romanisti will not tolerate what he’s done. Curva Sud is going to absolutely murder him the first time Roma takes stand at the Olimpico. The only people liable to cheer for him in Rome this season, sadly, will be Laziale. Until then, who knows.

* – Inter are also on the verge of signing Radoslav Kováč for Spartak Moscow, who is seemingly a very similar player to HWSNBN. Even though it’s said he can also play DM, Inter seem to be fairly set in that position, so he’s likely being bought for the back line. And Kováč is not going to be cheap (€7-10m). Methinks that’s a sign. Could be good or bad, depending on your viewpoint.

Weekend News & Notes:

I) As reported above, Roma has signed Iranian-Italian 22 year-old striker Keivan Zarineh on a free for under 6 figures per year (I think this is him, there a are a few of the same person under his name even though he looks about as Iranian as my old blonde surfer roommate from Southern California). Supposedly a tall (195cm or 6′4) and powerful striker, he has an awesome goal rate of 9 GOALS IN TWO YEARS IN SERIE C2 (4th division). Even better? Here’s an interview where he compares himself to LUCA FUCKING TONI. I’m not sure whether to love his ego or hate him for being an imbecile. I’m going with the latter, for now. To have me love your ego you actually need to have a reason to have one, a la Zlatan.

I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt here because Roma wouldn’t sign him if he was absolutely worthless or could not possibly serve some purpose (we hope), as well as the fact that he’s ex-Juventus property and Fiorentina was reportedly after him (bullshit!). Hopefully he is one of those physical specimens who is just slowly growing into his body and is loaned out ASAP. However, I’m not expecting much, if anything, out of him. Ever. (My girlfriend thinks they might have signed him because Rosella “thinks he’s cute.” Although though she hasn’t seen his picture. Considering his goal rate, I wouldn’t rule that out.)

II) Ludovic Giuly looks impossible. Awesome.

III) Remember how I said it looks like Matteo Brighi has as much of a chance as seeing time in a Giallorossi kit as I do? Yeah, scratch that. He very well might be staying. And I very well might be an idiot.

IV) Lazio has jumped into the fray for Leandro Rinaudo along with Milan and Roma. Assholes. Here’s how this is going to work out: If Milan really wants him, they’ll get him. If not, I would think Roma would be the favorite. Because Lazio sucks.

* – Speaking of Milan, would anybody else be completely on board with the idea of Rosella calling up Uncle Fester and saying “we’ll give you our Romanian nuck-futter for €10m if you just give him his contract demands”? Not that they’d want him, but they’d have to like the idea of fucking over Inter at half price. Give it a shot. Couldn’t hurt and at this point Roma getting €10m is a dream.

V) This has nothing to do with Roma but I noticed at the top of il Romanista that Genesis got back together? And no one sent me a fucking memo? I can’t dance, I can’t talk, only thing about me is the way I walk….

VI) So, ummm, what happened to those Kappa rumors? Hopefully they just burst onto the fields with them on tomorrow as sort of a pseudo-surprise. With HWSNBN forced to wear an Inter kit. And a dress. A cocktail dress with pumps. A nerazzurri cocktail dress with pumps and lipstick. That should work.

VII) This is what Mancini says about Liverpool rumors.

VIII) That Cicinho door just got cracked open again. Provided Real Madrid obtains a Dani Alves or similar type, that Cici to Roma deal could become feasible. Everybody start sending fruitbaskets to Alves signed “Your biggest fan, Bernd Schuster X€X€X€.”

* – GHD R2 returns Monday.

In summation, how do I expect the summer to turn out? Very very creatively. The suspects:

Departures:

Tavano – “Decidedly average.” Love it. Your six month loan deal was worth that alone. But not much else.

Wilhelmsson – He’s like dating a stripper. Flashy and has some sweet moves, but when you have to take her somewhere important – like the opera, ballet or to meet your family(or a CL game) – she’s probably just going to end up embarrassing you. Not worth the trouble.

No, I do not speak from experience. I swear.

Curci – Loan deal for Chimenti. Solid move, should reap dividends.

Defendi - I’m thoroughly nonplussed.

Virga – Loan. See: Defendi

Matteo Brighi – Most likely a chip in a cash plus player deal. But seriously, a 97 in FIFA? Give him a chance Luciano.

Aleandro Rosi – He was rumored to be included in a Brighi, Rosi, cash for Muntari before Sully moved to England. A co-ownership deal could be worked out as part of a modified deal to get another player such as Rosina/Quagliarellia. I’ve always liked Rosi and hoped he could mature as a Giallorossi player; but if he needs to be part of the deal for one of those guys? Have a nice career, Aleandro.

Samuel Kuffour – I’m going to be kind to Samuel:

Get the fuck out.

There, much more reserved than I expected.

Arrivals:

David Suazo or Alessandro Rosina – It’s only going to be one, so I’m not going to cop out and say one or the other. I’ll go with:

Suazo – I’m going to keep this simple. You know how I feel about him. I will do cartwheels the day he arrives. Probably starts out on the wing until Spalletti caves to a 3-2-3-2 or 4-4-1-1 with Suazo behind Totti.

Yes, this means you should bet the house on Rosina.

Antonio Chimenti – I really can’t explain how delighted I genuinely am. I know he will only be Doni’s backup but every single time I’ve seen him play he makes Gigi Buffon look like Tony Meola. Also, it’s always nice to have a resident geriatric on the squad. If you put a picture of Chimenti and Spalletti side-by-side and asked 10 random people who they thought was older, I bet 8 would say Antonio. I’m actually gonna try this. Results forthcoming.

Cicinho - Hasn’t exactly set Spain alight in Madrid but he is young enough that he can reclaim the phenomenal form he showed back in Sao Paolo. The speedy right-back will be able to provide plenty of added life to the offense.

Someone Out of Nowhere – Likely a winger or attacking mid, the most important part being the price, meaning not much of one. I’m going to pull this one out of my ass: Juan Pablo Francia of Bordeaux. Hasn’t been linked whatsoever with Roma. Was a big prospect but the coaches at Bordeaux don’t play him anymore and he wants out, hasn’t exactly been coy about it either. Should be relatively cheap. Has the prerequisites for Spalletti: Pace, footwork and an attacking mindset. Why not?

If this comes true I’m quitting the offside, selling my possessions and moving to Tibet to live a monastic existence until my death. I’m going out on top.

Juan – Selecao starter really says enough for me, although an attacking mid or forward from the Brazilian XI would be preferable. Versatile enough that he could switch in and out of the left back position with Chivu, the Roman defense is looking stellar for next year.

Quick note: Juan’s agent has said Roma have not inquired about the Brazilian. Really? Because Juan has stated to Brazilian papers he has essentially agreed with Roma and Rudi Voller, current Bayer Leverkusen Sporting Director and former AS Roma legend, has stated he is on his way to the capital. I’m confused. Shameless attempt by the agent to get another team into the bidding to drive the price up? Or is everyone not on the same page? Maybe Juan’s just making stuff up and telling Rudi. Let’s enjoy this soap opera.

Complete BS Prediction of the Summer:

Chivu to Real Madrid in return for 6(?) million euros plus full ownership of one Fabio Cannavaro. I’ve got to admit, after the season Canna had, I have no clue what his pricetag is, but Chivu has seven years on him so that has to be worth quite a bit. Canna plus Emerson to Madrid was a rumored 20 mill last year and Chivu is worth at least the 21 mill Roma invested when they bought him from Ajax. So….I don’t know. As far as Canna goes, every single team in Italy (except Lazio, unfortunately Inter has already enjoyed his services) should be allowed the privilege of having him play for them once. How can you not love him?

Considering my placement of scantily clad women in a few recent posts, this one’s for the ladies.

OK, maybe those fantasies.

First, let me send out my deepest gratitude to the fronts offices of Portsmouth and Juventus (hell froze over last night if you hadn’t noticed). Due to the impending deal of Muntari to Pompey and the possibility of Iaquinta switching one set of zebra stripes for another, the likelihood of Antonio Di Natale leaving Udine this summer is slim according to club officials. No Rome for Antonio! I feel like throwing on Queen’s “We Are The Champions” and pouring bubbly all over my self.

Pompey and Juve have fruitbaskets forthcoming.

Now that I’ve listed a good amount of the players who have been linked with Roma or will most likely be linked with them, I get to list who I want. These are the players who would benefit Roma the most this summer and are actually either a) reasonable or b) already linked (in other words, not Buffon, Nesta, Gerrard, Kaka, Tevez and Eto’o). If Roma picked up two I’d be ecstatic. They’ll most likely get none.

My summer wishlist:

1. David Suazo (ST) Cagliari – I’ve made no shortage of my desire for the Honduran to ply his trade in Rome. He is a fantastic player, almost singlehandedly sustaining Cagliari for the past few years. David wants to play in Rome and hasn’t exactly been subtle about it. He’s gifted enough to single handedly change the way teams play against Roma. That’s very difficult to acquire. If Suazo does land in the eternal city, and there is a chance that he will, expect 15 goals to be the minimum expectation (new system), with a likely achievable goal of 25 and the Capocannoniere. With all parties involved wanting this to happen, including Cagliari, expect all efforts to be exhausted. It reminds me of another guy that Roma tried to sign who could supposedly take them over the top. I think his name was Gabriel Batistuta…..

* – In a possibly related note Edgar Alvarez will return to Rome and will likely stay, though Udinese and CSKA Moscow are very interested. This guy is fast, real fast; let’s hope he can convince Roma to take on compatriot David Suazo. Also, this likely signals the end of The Christian Wilhemsson Experience. Today is an early Christmas for me. Fruitbaskets all around!

2. Mathieu Bodmer (CM) Lille – As I’ve said before, he is a diamond. Most people haven’t seen him outside of the Champions League, but he led Lille in scoring this year and was the overall engine of the team. He and De Rossi are so similar yet both so versatile they would coexist perfectly. Bodmer’s passing vision would allow the waves of attack to fly upfield while he distributes the ball from just beyond the opposition’s box. I’ve always envisioned, even though he played directly behind the striker at Lille, that he would be perfect to play a Xabi Alonso or Andrea Pirlo role, but from further up the field. At “only” a supposed 10 million euros (the same as Di Natale, don’t get me started), he’s a fantastic investment and nearly a can’t miss player due to his incredible workrate. This is a one time chance for the Sensi family, if he goes to a bigger club, or any club as it’s harder to get smaller than Lille, then he will certainly set the world alight and skyrocket his price.

So if you hadn’t noticed, I think Roma should get this guy. He’s kinda good. And I really really dislike the French, so that should say a lot. Just don’t tell Philippe.

* – Also, maybe we can sneak him into Italy for 5 years to get citizenship and play for the Azzurri before Domenech gets a fucking clue and calls him up. I was astounded by this, France is a solid national team, but you cannot convince me there are a minimum of 10 midfielders from France better than Bodmer: Vieira, Nasri, Malouda, Ribery, ummmm…Toulalan?…ummmm….

** – Actually, let’s try and cherrypick a few guys from Lille. Very talented young roster. Abdul Keita(already linked), Jean Makoun and Bodmer are studs right now. Ludovic Obraniak, Mathieu Debuchy and Kevin Mirallas supposedly have huge talent and could possibly be had on the cheap. But the one that impressed me most with his workrate and versatility during the CL this year was Mathieu Chalme. Huge engine, can play almost anywhere and has some pace to boot. I’d love to see him make a small money move to Rome.

3a. Samir Nasri (AM) Marseille – I’m going to assume people on a footballing website know about Monsieur Nasri. For those who don’t: Nasri is Zizou v. 2.0. Able to play on the wing or in the middle of the pitch and supremely gifted with the ball at his feet, he doesn’t have Zidane’s passing vision or overall command of the pitch, yet(Nor do I believe he will). He would be absolutely perfect to fly up and down the pitch of the Olimpico. Considering Marseille will be in the Champions League next year it’s highly improbable he will move. If he did, Nasri would certainly cost a pretty penny, probably the full sum of the transfer budget and more, but he is a rare talent and would do extremely well under Spalletti. Well, pretty much anyone with some pace, stamina and above average footwork fits into Spalletti’s system.

3b. Daniel Carvalho (AM) CSKA Moscow – An attacking midfielder in the mold of Nasri who tends to float between the middle of the pitch and the wings. From what I understand, he likes to play on the left quite a bit, but I can’t really confirm it because I decided to cancel my subscription to the Russian Premier League Channel. Wonderful vision, he has been dubbed an uber-prospect for a couple years now. Carvalho has Barcelona and Valencia, amongst others, drooling and probably won’t be in Russia much longer. However, let’s look at this lineage: A certain Roman Abramovich had controlling interest as founder of Sibneft(Russian oil company), which owned CSKA until 2005. Knowing Roman’s slightly hands on approach, he probably had a say in bringing Carvalho to Mockba. I would be willing to bet the house, as well as the exclusive rights to Zlatan’s humility, that Carvalho makes his way to London within the next few years.

* – CSKA Moscow is teeming with elite young talent, I wouldn’t mind if Roma just tried to poach their roster. Besides Carvalho, they also have:
Ramon – Another Brazilian attacking mid dubbed in his homeland the new Kaka. Rumored to be heading, where else, to the Rossoneri. Just what they need, two Kakas. What the fuck.
Caner Erkin – Turkish winger giving Nuri Sahin a run for the most promising Turk in some time. Also, very very ugly. Always a plus. Looks a bit like Stewie Griffin.
Jo - Physical Brazilian forward likened to that Adriano fellow. 18 games, 14 goals last year. Pure finisher.
Vagner Love - Yet another Brazilian playing upfront, he is one who has actually been linked with Chelsea. Has speed for days. He had Love tacked onto the back of his name for bringing a girl to his hotel room the night before a big tournament leg in Brazil. Simply awesome. You can’t make this stuff up.
Igor Akinfeyev - Saved the best for last. The Russian national team starter is a phenom, hands down the best keeper in the former Soviet Bloc and he’s all of 20. Currently out until late fall after shredding his knee, he is considered the future number one keeper in the world, if he isn’t already. Pundits claim he is already better than Gigi(Blasphemy! WC: 2 goals, 1 own goal, 1 penalty. Nuff said.). Shocking prediction of the summer: Juve sell Buffon to Berlusconi & Co. for 60 million euros or so, then use almost half to buy up Igor. The new Lev Yashin.

The Selecao are going to be holding home games in Moscow in about two years time.

4. Fabio Grosso (LB) Internazionale – Dortmund. Berlin. Period. My sentimental pick.

5. Fabio Cannavaro (CB) Real Madrid – Seriously, who in the world would not want Canna on their team? Who? See above.

Forthcoming: The Predictions That Will Almost Definitely Not Come True.

The future at RB is a priority (and it’s not Gilberto Martinez), Panucci is getting on in years, and though Cassetti has played well, he is not the long-term answer. Juan should push Chivu out to the left and Ferrari is a solid third defender. If he finally comes, Mathieu (listed in the midfielder section) could provide versatility and would fill the last need for the back line. The suspects:

Juan (CB) Bayern Leverkusen – Brazilian newspapers, as well as some dude named Rudi Voller, have been reporting for a few months that Juan is on his way to the better half of the Olimpico. This would likely mean a switch in the back four, pushing Chivu out into a left back position and pushing Tonetto onto the left-wing. While a central defender does not seem the most pressing need for the summer, a back line of Panucci/Cassetti-Mexes-Juan-Chivu would certainly be one of the best in Serie A. Judging by the overwhelming rumors, as well as Juan supposedly confirming it in Brazil and various websites simply referring to him as a Giallorossi player, there can be no criticism for strengthening the defense. Arrival probability: 9.5/10

Walter Samuel (CB) Inter – The Wall, as he was known in his 4 years in Rome, was one of the best defenders in the world while he wore the Giallorossi colors. After being moved to Real Madrid for 25 million euros and then Inter, he has been a shell of his former self and has fallen behind Materazzi on the depth chart. It’s likely he will be moved this summer, and expect every rumor involving Inter and a Roma player to include either he and/or Grosso as players. Light rumors have circulated that there is interest from at least one of the parties, most likely Samuel. If Roma somehow fails to get Juan, expect this rumor to vault to the forefront. Arrival probability: 2.5/10

Jacques Faty (CB/DM) Rennes – Had been tipped to join younger brother Ricardo in the Roma ranks but recently signed with Marseille. Off the market.

Dario Dainelli (DF) Fiorentina - Dario has been linked with Roma for a couple months, as his contract will run out this summer and the Viola have resigned themselves to losing him. Dainelli is a solid player with some versatility enabling him to split out to the right. Still, he’s a lot further down the list than Juan or Mathieu. More likely to move to Juve or Milan. Arrival probability: 3/10

* – From here on out, assume anyone in Serie A or France whose contract runs out this summer will be linked to Roma.

Anthony Réveillère (RB) Lyon - Just so Mancini can practice his stepovers in training.

I’m sorry, that was mean.

Fabio Grosso(LB) Inter – The World Cup hero’s agent has implied that Fabio is interested in playing for Roma. Bring him on. Seems like the perfect wingback for Spalletti’s system. In other words, a defender who likes to spend time in the opposition’s box. However, Moratti is try to make the roster Argenti….er, Italian so it looks unlikely at least for a couple years. Expect a Panucci; spending the twilight in Rome. Arrival probability: 4/10

Paolo Cannavaro (CB) Napoli – Most people don’t know there’s another Canna, and that he’s actually pretty good. I do have a confession to make, I made this one up. But couldn’t Roma put in a bid in a shameless attempt to lure the elder Canna to the Olimpico? Fabio has said that he wants to return to Napoli eventually and/or play with his brother again. Roma should make the latter dream happen. There’s nothing like people helping people. Arrival probability: 1/10

Cicinho (RB) Real Madrid - Roma and Cicinho have been thisclose thismany times to a transfer for the marauding right-back. A player who could flourish under Spalletti as a defender who likes to think he is a striker, Cicinho is the ideal long-term replacement for Panucci. He is also BFF with Doni and was hotly rumored to be joining Roma this January but it seemingly fell through after his knee went through a proverbial meat grinder. Judging by his injury this season as well as lack of playing time afterwards, the price should be very fair and low by his talent standards. Compared with some guy named Cafu who Roma fans have probably never heard of, Cicinho is one of the three most likely transfers of the summer. Arrival probability: 8/10

* – When he was in Brazil, Daniel Alves was being touted as his future back-up. Alves may have a fiery temperament, amazing stamina and huge competitive streak, but Cicinho is the one teeming with talent. The Sevilla-man is the topic du jour, but Cicinho is capable of leaving him in the dust. If you watch him play you assume he’s an attacking mid in the mold of a Kaka, and then he hauls ass back to the defense. Phenomenal player. Sign him at all costs, Luciano.

It’s surprising that Roma have not been linked with more midfielders this summer, whereas they’ve been linked with every striker in and around Italy. Midfield is the area that could use the most improvement this summer, especially regarding the left side. The two “holding” midfielder (Spalletti calls it a 4-2-3-1 but it’s more like a 4-5-1 with all the midfielders creating a clusterfuck in the opponent’s box) spots will be filled with De Rossi, Aquilani, Faty and likely Pizarro. The first three are extremely young and talented and should be allowed room to grow, likely eliminating holding midfielders from the summer mix (Mathieu is an exception, he can also play along the back four). On the wing, Mancini has his spectacular moments (see: Lyon) but is far too inconsistent and needs a wing partner who makes darting runs with purpose. That was directed straight at you, Wilhelmsson; I have never seen a player so gifted who doesn’t have a fucking clue how to actually play the game. Ideally, Mancini could switch back to the right if another left-footed winger came into the mix (Rosina?). Perrotta’s job playing behind Totti is safe.

In summation: Please, could we please get someone for the left side. Pretty please?

Mathieu Bodmer (CM) Lille – The French version of Daniele De Rossi or Steven Gerrard. Tall, action-packed midfielder who likes to get involved in the attack and can hold his own in defense. He has played towards the front at Lille due to a paucity of goals from the strikers, but at a bigger club would be well served playing as a trequartista, playing behind the lone striker in between two wings. A technically gifted two-footed player, one of his main assets are his booming long rang shots with either foot. Il Romanista has reported a 10 million euro deal has been discussed with Lille but not much else, though they implied both sides saw it as a reasonable offer. Very good news, Bodmer is worth that and so much more. A lineup featuring De Rossi and Bodmer either side-by-side or behind one another would wreak absolute havoc on Serie A for years. Outside of David Suazo, probably the one person who could single-handedly push Roma towards the Scudetto next year. Pray for this one. Arrival probability: 4.5/10

Alessandro Rosina (AM) Torino – Rosinaldo has taken Serie A by storm this year. His pace, footwork and technical brilliance have him headlining the wish lists of most of the big guns. A gifted left-footer, those who have watched Torino this year will tell you his position: everywhere. Roma have made their attempts to get Rosina a major priority. They’ve offered 9 millions euros, the rest of Gianluca Comotto’s contract (on loan at Torino, Roma’s 50% ownership valued at roughly 1 million) and a free one year loan of Gianluca Curci. Only the offer has been reported and it’s difficult to gauge Torino’s feelings on the offer. One would likely think Rosina is worth upwards of 15 million euros, if not more. It’s hard to argue with Roma going after a left footed attacking mid, the exact position they need so badly, and they will probably open up the checkbooks a little wider than they originally deemed prudent. The problem is Roma will find itself hard-pressed to outspend the big boys who are all waiting in line for Rosinaldo. Arrival probability: 7.5/10

* – Also, his hairline reminds of another certain attacking mid who used to ply his trade in the northwest corner of Italy. I’m not sayin, I’m just sayin….

Franco Semioli (RW) Chievo – Last summer, Franco was one of the hottest properties in Italy. He nearly made the Azzurri squad for Germany and was heavily rumored to be on his way to Arsenal. The move never materialized, and Franco gave hints as to why, “Roma are my first choice for the way they play and the importance of the club.” In other words: Roma, please come and get me. With Chievo’s relegation, it becomes highly probable Franco will depart this summer. Semioli is the likely back-up plan to Rosina, hopefully he’ll be around long enough if Roma miss out on their first choice. Arrival probability: 5.5/10

Update: Read that last sentence again. Got it? Semioli just signed with Fiorentina, about 48 hours after Chievo were relegated. So apparently he isn’t going to be coming to Rome. I didn’t expect that at all. I can’t blame him for joining the Viola, great team.

David Di Michele (LW/FW) Palermo – David has recently stated that he is happy in Sicily, but that he didn’t know if he could turn down a move to his birth-city, Rome. He also stated he could play on the left-wing as he did at Udinese. This is just an open statement from a player without a word from the club, but Roma have had interest in the past. Di Michele would be a very good fit in Spalletti’s system and likely has a few years of top-level football left. Until more information is known it’s hard to gauge the interest, but David could be one of those transfers that comes to fruition with little warning. Departure probability: 3.5/10

Damiano Tommasi (DM) Levante – Alright, I made this one up, but I’m allowed to dream, right? For those who are new to AS Roma, Tommasi is a Roman icon who left the club last summer after ten years. His claim to fame is being a player who wasn’t supremely talented, but had a supreme will, and turned himself into an elite midfielder. His works with numerous charities are similar to many other players, but I dare you to find a story like this:

“This is very important because the kids see us as idols and we have to give a good example. Often football players are described as egoistic and vague, but this isn’t true and we are often involved in charity events. I try to do what I can, remembering that I am very lucky. I do a job that I love and I get a lot of money for doing it. This is a joy but also a big responsibility”, he once said during a conference at the University to which he was invited to talk to the young people. Tommasi spent almost the entire season in the infirmary the last year Capello coached the Rome team but Tommasi’s fate was even worse at the beginning of the next season. On July 22nd 2004, during the second pre-season match under coach Prandelli, a Stoke City player committed a bad foul on him and his knee “exploded”. The season ended before it began and his possibilities of recovery were dubious for many months. At the end of the season, Tommasi’s contract with Rome expires and the team wants to be sure that he has completely recovered before signing him up. The player also has some doubts on his career because he is not too sure that at age 31 he can be a part of the future program set up by coach Spalletti and the Rome Club. The two parties meet a couple of times, but the gossip around is that there will be a divorce. But then there is a surprise ending; Damiano Tommasi demonstrates on the pitch and through medical tests that he is physically fit; Rome offers him a new contract but he doesn’t want to become a part of the team at such high prices following months of inactivity, so he asks for the minimum union wage which is €1,500.00 a month and becomes both the new exception and the new example of Italian football.

If anyone deserves to see out his career in Rome, it’s Damiano. I truly hope he rides off into the sunset a Giallorossi.

Enzo Maresca (CM) Sevilla – Maresca is another in the list of players who have mentioned Roma, but not necessarily the other way around. Though he’s said he’s happy now, after his contract is up, or if things were to falter, his first choice would be to come to the capital. With Sevilla landing a CL spot, and still in competition for the title, it’s unlikely they will let him go. Still, he is another attack-minded mid who would fit well in Spalletti’s system. He has a good goal record for a midfielder and likes to spend the majority of time hanging out with the opposition’s defense. He was bough from Juventus for 2.5 million euros in 2005 and has increased his value quite a bit since. It’s unlikely Enzo will return this year, but when he does Roma will come calling. Arrival probability: 1.5/10

Pascal Feindouno (LW) Saint-Etienne – Some guy who plays for some French team. Il Romanista says Roma “put in an inquiry.” 91 games, 24 goals. Not bad from the wing. Arrival probability: No clue. Not even sure if I care.

* – The most positive thing that came out of my research for Pascal was his website – I was able to roughly translate all the French. I’m stoked, I haven’t tried reading French for about 10 years. Why is it that every time I see Russian I feel like I just had a seizure even though I took it in college?

Mozart (DM) Spartak Moscow – No, not Wolfgang. Former Reggina midfielder who has spent the last two years hanging out near the Kremlin. This Mozart can probably pass much better than Wolfgang. Actually, he can probably pass much better than most of the midfielders in Europe. Mozart has stated Roma and Fiorentina are interested and has been told he will be able to return to Serie A (or La Liga). Holding midfielders able to spray passes from deep are greatly appreciated in Italy and would do well creating the counter attack for Roma. Seems like a perfect player for Fiorentina though, and Celtic have also been rumored to be in the hunt. Really not needed in Rome. Arrival probability: 1.5/10

Cristiano Doni (MF) Atalanta – Midfielder who scores beaucoup goals, but only when he plays for Atalanta. Has moved to many other clubs but cannot reclaim the same form. Currently in his second stint with Atalanta, he may have been a good option – five years ago. At 34, it’s no time for Roma to be gambling. Arrival probability: 2.5/10

Jeremy Mathieu (DM/DF) Toulouse – A persistent rumor for some time, the tall Frenchman is one of Spalletti’s more coveted targets. As a player who could provide cover for six positions, it’s hard to argue that he is an unnecessary purchase. Versatility like that is a valued commodity to any squad who compete on multiple fronts. Reports had him valued between 3.5 and 5.8 million euros; suprisingly, Roma liked the former and Toulouse the latter. Who knew? With the sides having spoken for over a year now, it’s likely an agreement will be reached this summer somewhere in the middle. Arrival probability: 7.5/10

Next Installment: Prospective Defensive Arrivals

Here’s to Totti & Co. bringing early Christmas gifts to Rome in the middle of the summer (As if I needed to say this, but I’d love to get Megan Gale for Christmas. Santa, if you’re listening…). Most of these players won’t even get a whiff of the Giallorossi shirt. Considering Spalletti’s recent statements regarding his trequartista (there is only one striker and his name is Totti), then if any of these men do show up then they will likely find themselves doing a number of things: a) riding pine b) playing out of position at times c) playing up front with Totti when Luciano switches to a 3-2-3-2 on holidays and/or d) probably being mildly unhappy. However, that shouldn’t stop a little speculative fun, because one will almost definitely come out of this group. The men up-front:

Luca Toni (ST) Fiorentina – It’s official, Toni-Gol is headed out of Firenze. Luca has stated his desire to play in the Champions League as well as someday to play alongside Il Gladiatore. Champions League? Check. Il Gladiatore? Check. Let’s do a simple mathematics equation here. Bayern’s rumored offer per annum: 5.5 million euros. Roma’s supposed salary cap* for players not named Totti: 2.5 million euros. 5.5 million – 2.5 million = 3 million euros. Check and mate. Arrival probability: 0/10

* – I’ve heard this quoted figure for a while now and recently Mexes’ agent stated that this is their working cap. Message boards around seem to think some people make more(Montella, Perrotta, De Rossi to name a few). For the moment, I’ll trust the people who work directly with the club on a financial level. I could be wrong though, agents have lied once or twice.

Update: Fiorentina director Andrea Della Valle has announced that Toni is Bayern-bound. The Juventus fire sale was one thing, but I really hate seeing Italian stars play abroad. But if this is out of respect to Fiorentina, that he refused to play against them with another Italian team, then bravo, Toni. I bet Bayern draws the Viola in the UEFA Cup. It would only be fitting.

Roque Santa Cruz (FW) Bayern Munich – Tall, lanky striker or deep-lying forward, his huge talent has been overshadowed by constant injuries. Has been at Munich for 8 years and finally has had enough of riding the pine and will be allowed to leave this summer in what can only be described as a complete overhaul in Munchen. Roma are undeniably on his short list, having been thrown in with Real Betis and Marseille. He is great in the air and his ability to play behind a striker such as Totti would attract Roma. He was even thought to be a likely replacement for Ballack last summer, looks like that didn’t turn out so hot. Has only scored 2 goals in 26 matches this year, but that may have more to do with the squad around him(Podolski: 4 in 22). The kicker in this rumor is the price: a tad over 5 million euros. Roque is only 25 and his talent alone would seem to dictate a much higher pricetag (especially from a club who once valued Owen Hargreaves at an absurd 25 million pounds). Due to the price alone this has to make him a favorite of the Giallorossi, but something says he may be better off proving himself in a lower league such as Ligue 1 before jumping to another big club. Arrival probability: 4/10

Antonio Cassano (ST) Real Madrid - Deep breaths. Relax…..deep breaths. As long as Antonio is still plying his trade as a footballer, these rumors will persist. Suffice it to say, Antonio had a special bond with Roma and the Giallorossi faithful. It may not have always been bad or always good, but it was always special. Having said he would “walk all the way back to Rome,” there is no question where his heart lies. Quite frankly, Antonio is a big kid who needs to be loved. He needs to be the big fish in a small pond. He needs to be the man upon which everything rides. He may go back home to Bari, he may latch onto a newly promoted team looking for an identity(Napoli) or he may join a Milanese squad or Juve. However this turns out, he needs a couple years to prove he is a changed man before Roma welcomes him back. Time is on his side; only 24, much is left to be decided. Arrival probability: 3/10

* – I would not survive the Antonio Cassano we have seen at Real Madrid back in Rome. I pray this does not happen for quite some time, but damnit, get your act together Antonio and get your ass back here. There is not a player I want in Rome more than the kid who just went out and played football for the love of it.

David Suazo (ST) Cagliari - If he makes it to Rome next season, David Suazo will be on the short list of the best strikers in Europe by the end of the campaign. He is that good. Arrival probability: 8/10

Johan Elmander (CF) Toulouse – Tall Swedish forward who has come into his own after years of being dubbed a major prospect. Spent the majority of his younger years switching between an attacking midfield position and striker so he could provide much desired versatility in Spalletti’s system. His style would allow him to play in a similar position as fellow Swede Zlatan and Eidur Gudjohnsen, as more of a deep-lying forward playing behind Totti(Possibly a 3-2-3-1-1); and Barcelona rumors have been circulating since the winter months. Scorer of 11 goals, Toulouse want one million euros for each of his goals this year. Reports have also stated this hinges on the status of Mirko Vucinic. With Mirko at 3.5 million euros less, 2 years younger, and a track record of 19 Serie A goals at 21, it’s going to be extremely difficult to sell Elmander as a better buy. Arrival probability: 3.5/10

* – Thanks to Inara for the heads up on this rumor. I may start referring to her as my head Ligue 1 scout.

Cristian Rigano (ST) Messina – Cristian finished the season third in Serie A in goals scored due to a couple at the hands of Roma on the last matchday of the season. Undoubtedly he brought his top form to impress the Giallorossi bosses, but it will be a difficult sell. Despite his 19 goals, he will be 35 next season and that is really toeing the line with Father Time. A stop-gap backup role could be feasible if Okaka Chuka goes out on loan, but Roma have taken to looking for big fish this summer. Cristian just isn’t a big fish. Arrival probability: 3/10

* – After I mentioned the possibility of a conspiracy theory due to Rigano’s blatant penalty against Totti (#11) when he need one for the Euro Golden Boot lead, I’ve seen a few other sources speculate the same thing. Who knows how the Giallorossi hierarchy saw that, but it may very well be a factor.

Alvaro Recoba (BW) Inter – Roma should just pay him to stay away from the Giallorossi shirt a la Samuel Kuffour. Has recently stated it would be nearly impossible for him to play against Inter with another Italian team. Thank God. Arrival probability: 0.5/10

* – If you don’t know how I feel about Alvaro, then you missed this. And yes, that BW stands for benchwarmer.

Christian Vieri (FW) Atalanta – This, without question, is the best transfer that could happen to the AS Roma wing of the offside. Should this happen, a new theme will surely arise on a weekly basis: Christian Vieri’s WAG of the Week. Now, Vieri has called out Roma as his club choice du jour (see: Sampdoria), which means very little. But, playing along with Christian, this one actually seems probable for a few reasons:
#1: It would be a free transfer, exactly what Roma are looking for. If there is any chance of him playing for the same contractual agreement that he has at Atalanta(1500 euros a month, 100,000 euros for each goal scored), then Roma would jump at the chance.
#2: Have you seen that goal? It doesn’t even appear that he looked towards the general vicinity of the goal. Phenomenal.
#3: He’s Christian Vieri AKA form is temporary, class is permanent. The man simply knows how to score goals and, even at 33, hasn’t lost his touch. At Inter from 99-05 before injuries: 142 games, 102 goals. Speaks for itself.
#4: Roma is one of the few teams Italy that Christian hasn’t played for yet, which it seems is his aim. Take a breath, and….Torino, Pisa Calcio, Ravenna Calcio, Venezia, Atalanta, Juventus, Lazio, Internazionale, AC Milan, and Atalanta #2. As well as Atletico Madrid and Monaco, and he sort of signed with Sampdoria for a couple weeks. Kinda.
#5: Seriously, have you seen that goal?
Arrival probability: 5.5/10

* – From this point on, assume anyone in Serie A or France whose contract runs out this summer will be linked to Roma. It’s inevitable.

Antonio Di Natale (FW) Udinese - Udinese have very little chance of competing on the European front, which makes a Roman move for Di Natale very appealing. A major determining factor will be the pricetag: Udinese want 10 million euros. Seems impractical when they have only upwards of 20 million to spend after buying out Vucinic and Pizarro. He has 28 goals with Udinese in the past three years and 18 in 2 years with Empoli before that, which means Antonio is going to give you on average 9 goals a term. Decent, but not 10 million euros decent. Media outlets have claimed he is “very close to signing with Roma.” Raise your hand if you haven’t heard that one before. Thought so. Rumors may persist, but this one seems unlikely unless the price drops. Arrival probability: 3.5/10

* – If they throw 10 million euros at this shithead then somebody HAS to buy out the Sensi family. I’d rather sign Recoba. Chew on that one for a minute.

Vincenzo Iaquinta (ST) Udinese – The Udinese forward more likely to be seen in the Giallorossi shirt next year. The rumors seem to stem from Luciano Spalletti saying something along the lines of, I want Vincenzo Iaquinta. That works. A classic striker, Vincenzo would undoubtedly help to bulge the old onion bag and should line up very well with Totti. A much more desirable return than Di Natale, Udinese are looking for another 10 million euros. He has fallen out with Udinese due to wages, shocking for a footballer, and it does appear his time in Udine is coming to a close. Juventus have also thrown their hat in the ring, and reports have speculated an agreement may already be in place. Raise your hand if you’ve never heard that one before. Roma should easily be into the race due to the allure of Champions League football and his previous relationship with Spalletti. Arrival probability: 5.5/10

* – Should Roma sign Suazo the probability drops to absolute zero. Just to make things absolutely clear, if Roma spends ten million euros on Di Natale instead of Iaquinta then I will turn into Michael Douglas in Falling Down. It won’t be pretty.

Fabio Quagliarelli (FW) Sampdoria – Though he has been on spectacular form this year, Fabio hasn’t proven himself for the long haul. With Sampdoria demanding a minimum of 16 million euros, file this one under slim to none. Arrival probability: 1.5/10

Next Installment: Prospective Midfield Arrivals

Quick news note:

Philippe Mexes and Roma have supposedly struck a contract agreement until 2011, earning 2.5 million euros plus major incentives. The official announcement will be made at some point next week (guess Mexes is on vaca). I guess Tuttosport was right, he really does want out of Rome…..

Over the few days I’ll break out a Giallorossi summer preview of probable departures and arrivals. The great majority of the players on these lists will not move anywhere. At the end is the probability of a move. No, I didn’t create an advanced algorithm to determine the scientific and mathematical approximation of said player moving to or from Rome. It’s just what I think the chances are from my research and whatever half-intelligent thoughts I pull from my ass. With that, let’s start with some possible departures:

Francesco Tavano (CF) – 10 million euros? Really, Valencia? 10 million? Thanks for coming out. Departure probability: 10/10

* – Hopefully Roma tiptoed lightly when they informed him that he would be leaving, he’s pure evil.

Christian Wilhelmsson (RW) – Rumors are persisting that Roma may be able to take Christian for free or at a reduced price, simply because Nantes doesn’t want to, or cannot, pay him. Fair enough. For a relatively small, soon to be relegated French club a flashy inconsistent winger at 1.75 million euros per annum does seem a tad unnecessary. Which also seems to imply that Roma have told Nantes they can expect him back at the end of the season. Quite simply, Roma need players of a higher class. Judging by his inability to follow Spalletti’s orders as the season progresses it seems more and likely he will find himself on another roster to start next year’s campaign. Departure probability: 7/10

* – Such a shame, how thou shall be missed, Oksana. As an aside, let’s hope Christian somehow gets moved to CSKA London. I doubt Abramovich could keep his hands out of the cookie jar with another young, virile Russian-born femme fatale whose main goal in life is to be famous. Here’s to hoping.

Philippe Mexes (CB) – Philippe’s agent revealed last week that it’s time to pay up. Fair enough, he deserves it. A few teams have supposedly put through some substantial offers, and Juve seems to be heavily enamored. Although Milan are always lusting for defenders. In a few years time they may be playing 10 behind the ball and Kaka up front. Mexes is the engine of the back line, and – though he may not have the untouchable status of Totti and De Rossi – he is nearly irreplaceable. Philippe has expressed his desire to remain in Roma, expect the Sensi family to open up those checkbooks. Departure probability: 1.5/10

Matteo Ferrari (DF) – What’s today again? Yet another in the class of pay up or ship me out. Matteo wants to be paid like a starter without being a starter. Of course he does. Departure probability: 5/10

Ricardo Faty (MF) – Ricardo has come out and stated how proud he is to wear the Giallorossi kit and how much he has enjoyed his time in Rome. And that he wants a transfer. Well, specifically a loan deal to advance himself as a footballer with more playing time. Very mature decision for the young man but Spalletti is a big fan. He may be in line for a lot more playing time at the Olimpico than he dreamed. Loan probability: 4/10

Daniele De Rossi (CM) – Note to Moratti, Rijkaard and Ferguson: Not. Happening. Ever. Departure probability: 0/10

* – My unabashed love affair with Daniele De Rossi will live on.

Samuel Kuffour (CB) – Nothing says we want you here like paying a player to go out on loan. Kuffour doesn’t want to be in Rome, Roma doesn’t want him. Everybody’s happy. Departure probability: 10/10

Vincenzo Montella (CF) – With the inevitable departure of Tavano, Vincenzo could be welcomed back into his old position on the bench with open arms. After a fairy tale start at Craven Cottage things plummeted and his time in England is over. A move elsewhere could be possible due to his enormous contract(Possibly a return to Empoli or Sampdoria). More likely is one last go around with Roma as he rides into the sunset. Departure probability: 4/10

Gilberto Martinez (DF) - Raise your hand if you knew he was on the squad. Hasn’t played a game all year. Injuries or not, he’s not good enough for Roma. Departure probability: 9.5/10

Mirko Vucinic (ST) – This could be filed under departures or arrivals. Roma have an option to buy him after this year for 7.5 million euros on a four year contract or give him a one way ticket back to Lecce. Rumblings from la citta eterna seem to imply that Roma favor the former, and would like to buy him on a permanent basis. A remarkable talent at a young age(19 goals in 29 Serie A games at 21 years old), he has struggled to find the same goal scoring form this year. However, it is not easy to immediately walk into the Stadio Olimpico and play in Spalletti’s style. Another year of study and evaluation are more likely before making a final verdict on Mirko. If he really does not fit into the system, he will be 24 and still young enough to require a sizable transfer fee and limit the negative impact on their investment. The reward seems to far outweigh the risk here. Departure probability: 3/10

Stefano Okaka Chuka (ST) – There is a large difference between sending a player out on loan to gain starting XI experience and sending out a phenom when he could greatly benefit the parent club. Stefano falls into the latter category. Even though he will only have been 18 for two weeks at the start of the season, he could end the year as one of the 6 or so best players on the club. Yes, you read that correctly. He’s that talented. Loan probability: 4/10

Christian Chivu (CB/LB) – Apparently the defensive unit got together and decided collectively to demand a pay raise. Bad news. Tuttosport claimed that Chivu agreed to a contract with Juventus already(for those who don’t speak Italian, Tuttosport translates to “Juventus Homeboys”); therefore, it means absolutely nothing. Chivu came out immediately afterward and denied that he wants to leave Roma and that he is actually about to negotiate an extension. Expect him, along with Mexes, to sign a new deal around 3 million euros a year soon. Departure probability: 2/10

Valerio Virga (MF) – Seemingly due for a loan to get some valuable starting XI experience or a chip in a cash plus player transfer deal. Probably best for him. Departure probability: 6/10

Gianluca Curci (GK) – The Azzurrini’s starting netminder, Curci was replaced by Doni as Roma’s number one last year. At 21, the future is very bright, but he could undoubtedly be best served next year as a starting keeper at a Serie A low to mid table club, likely one fighting relegation. Livorno have expressed interest in having him replace Amelia. A swap deal is rumored with Cagliari for Antonio Chimenti. Chimenti comes back to serve as Doni’s backup and Curci goes to Cagliari to start for them and gain some much needed experience. Perfecto. Transfer probability: 2/10 Loan probability: 7/10

Rodrigo Defendi – Thanks, but no thanks. Departure probability: 9.5/10

David Pizarro (MF) – He wants no part of going back to Inter and he seems to have found a home in the Olimpico. The co-ownership deal with Inter requires mutually agreed compensation but there is very very little chance that he does not sign a permanent deal with the Giallorossi this summer. Departure probability: 2/10

Matteo Brighi (MF) – Fun wikifact about Matteo: He became the highest rated player in FIFA 2003 with a 97 overall rating. Seriously, if Spalletti can’t find a spot on his roster for the greatest player in FIFA 03 then something is wrong in the eternal city. Come on. Departure probability: 7/10

Edgar Alavarez (MF) – Speedy Honduran winger on loan. Maybe he can convince Suazo to join. Not sure of their relationship but let’s hope they’re BFF. Could be a huge negotiating chip. Departure probability: Directly proportional to Suazo?

Other loanees – Most of them will probably go back out on loan or sold or ‘co-ownershipped’ with little fanfare. I can’t express how little I care in words.

Next installment: Prospective Forward Arrivals.