Tonetto…MISS 7-6 Fnal.

Diaby…GOAL 7-6

Riise…GOAL 6-6

Sagna…GOAL 6-5

Aquilani…GOAL 5-5

Toure…GOAL 5-4

Totti…GOAL 4-4

Denilson….GOAL 4-3

Montella…GOAL 3-3

Nasri….GOAL 3-2

Baptista…GOAL 2-2

Walcott…GOAL 2-1.

Vucinic…SAVE 1-1

Van Persie…GOAL 1-1

Pizarro…GOAL 0-1

Eduardo…SAVE! 0-0.

Arsenal will be going first, and it’s Eduardo.

Riise looks like he’s got another 120 in him.

It looks as though Diamoutene – who has been so impressive based on such low standards today – might be going.

And here we are. Everything comes down to penalties with so many tired legs on the pitch. Who goes? Montella, Baptista, Aquilani? Those are a start. Are Pizarro and Totti’s legs good enough to go? Mirko’s? Does Riise have PK accuracy?

Montella wins it only for Mirko to give it up…Tonetto…Totti..Baptista. Stuffed. PENALTIES

Baptista straight to a Gunner. He’s been awful. Montella coming on for PK’s. On for Brighi. Standing O for Matteo today. Such a brilliant all around performance by everyone – sans a couple forwards – to make up for the loss of Juan in the back.

Nothing happening really….119 right now.

Totti…cross headed out…Pizarro bundled as he attempts to take a shot. The little man has earned my full respect today. He’s taken a beating and kept on chuggin’.

Class pass by Aquilani there. Tonetto with a cramp.

Brighi stcks a foot in to win possession…Motta running…cuts….Aquilani….Aquilani again….Baptista down in the box, no call.

Brighi…Totti….shot wide left. And it may have deflected upon further look. No dice – goal kick.

Aquilani wins possession…Totti on it but he’s well gassed and gives it up easily.

Mirko’s legs are gone as well. No life today – suspect he’s more injured than being let on.

Motta with a nice stop but Mirko can’t control his pass and Arsenal wind up on the counter with Nasri attempting an audacious chip that goes nowhere but well over the goal.

Free kick…Van Persie cross…too short…cleared out.

Both sides look well and tired.

Mirko slaloms through about 3 defenders before losing it at the top of the box.

nothing from the corner, Aquilani is bundled and he;s holding his right ankle – the hurt one.

Kickoff….immediately results in an Arsenal throw from about the corner flag. They, of course, get a corner eventually.

EXTRA TIME HALF

Aquilani ate too much spinach today. Everything is long.

Tonetto with a nice save in the box but a dangerous moment as RVP skies one 12 yards from the goal.

Aquilani’s limping ever so slightly and he’s a 90th minute sub. Fantastic.

I have absolutely no idea as to the time – sorry.

Motta caught too far ahead on the attack, here comes Nasri – acres and acres of MF space – Walcott cross blocked by Max for a corner…which goes out for a goal kick.

Totti has no legs left whatsoever. None.

98′ Baptista so easily muscled off the challenge. Brighi with it….Tonetto cross….into Almunia’s arms. The midfield for both teams is defensively nonexistent.

97′ Sagna forced to clear it for a throw with Miko steaming behind…possession…Pizarro…some Roma short work…..Motta’s flick is off but Roma regain…Totti fouled but somehow now call.

Totti…Mirko…stolen….Arsenal break…poor pass collected by either Piza or Motta. Aquilani on it now….Mirko…Totti shot deflects off Mirko for a goal kick.

95′ (?)Aquilani over the top for the second time and for the second time he’s far too strong with it. Settle down young lad. Or at least put it into one of those patented Howitzers.

Roma break…..Baptista with an awful, awful pass to an onrushing Arsenal defender. He’s been bad since, oh, January.

92′ And Riise again on Walcott. At least they’re attacking the guy with immense stamina.

Riise stifled Van Persie at the edge of the box. Atta boy.

EXTRA TIME KICKOFF

Both teams have one sub remaining and it’s not golden goal – at least not for Roma. If Arsenal score, it’ll be a steep uphill battle to get 2 goals on tired legs in less than a half hour.

So here’s what has happened: nothing short of minor disaster as any semblance of shape and tactics are gone, with the two seemingly most injured players going in – Totti & Pizarro – having to play a full 90 with one at least a full 120. This is no time to look ahead, but with standing suspensions and injuries, it’s fair to just write off the weekend’s fixture against Sampdoria.

FULLTIME

…but not before Aquilani takes Rodrigo’s place.

God this does not look good. Rodrigo is being stretchered into the locker room – he cannot walk.

Taddei hurt. This is nice. Oh, and he’s being stretchered off with his head in his hands. Here comes Alberto….

Long ball over the top evades Mirko…down the other end, RVP’s shot deflects wide for a another corner…eventually headed over the bar by Toure. Frightening times.

Three minutes added.

90′ Riise heads it out for a corner…RVP….cleared, Totti fouled.

Something’s wrong with the side of Motta’s face/head. Grass burn?

Looks to be a free kick for Arsenal when he and Nasri get up – and Marco is yellowed for his troubles. Excellent.

87′ Nasri dribbles himself out of bounds, which is nice. Thanks.

Motta run…..cross sent in is cleared out but only to Taddei, whose bumbling shot lands in Almunia’s arms.

86′ Eduardo coming on for Bedtner.

84′ David does well to break up play in the middle of the pitch. Shocked he’s still on the field.

82′ Two Arsenal breaks today thwarted by their own diabolical passing. Ball behind Bendtener steaming in for a 1v1 with Doni.

Baptista’s first touch fails again.

Arsenal corner, of course. But Doni learned to palm one. Atta boy.

Another solid challenge by a knocked Diamoutene. I have to say, really beginning to like this cat.

80′ Baptista you bastard. Misses a fucking sitter 6 yards from Almunia after gorgeous work by Pizarro, Motta and Totti.

78′ Somebody needs to Photoshop a ‘Statue of Julio’. His touch is becoming the new David for opposing counters.

77′ Some quick and intelligent ball work results in Baptista unable to chasee up a Pizarro through ball. Arsenal goal kick.

75′ I’m fairly sure that was Diamoutene who just made a wonderful headed clearance only to be followed by a great tackle by Riise on Walcott. Wonders.

74′ Walcott for Eboue. Roma loses bodies, Arsenal gets them back. How loverly.

73′ Motta unleashes an Aquilani special to no avail.

72′ Mirko looks positively exhausted and has for, oh, about 71 minutes…but he bakes Sagna right as I’m typing that. All hail Mirko.

71′ Short Arsenal corner headed well out.

70′ And David looks genuinely hurt. Awesome.

But, and I mean this in the kindest way possible, it’s probably best it happened to someone who wasn’t capable of a full 90 anyway. Even though he’s coming back on. (?)

Onto that extra time thing again: Arsene has yet to make a sub. Dangerous, particularly with Theo Walcott’s legs.

Pizarro down again. Knee to the ribs this time. This guy cannot catch a break.

66′ Scratch that, twas a corner. Cleared well out after Motta clashed heads with Gallas. Yes, that’s what’s needed.

Nice tackle by Sagna on Mirko, Roma throw. Quality defender he is.

I genuinely see, in my most optimistic heart of Roman hearts, no way that how this team as constituted can play 120 minutes. They have to play for the regular time win.

64′ A begging chance after Totti’s gifted the ball but an Arsenal defender sticks a leg in and it ends that opportunity.

Another Arsenal corner upcoming……Doni punches…Diaby on it, makes space and shoots wide.

David walks gingerly off, but looks as though he’s not quite finished. (Already asking to come back on.)

61′ Baptista breaks, stopped by Gallas.

Pizarro’s down and holding his thigh with what looks to be a cramp? Perhaps Alberto should get real ready, real soon…

62′ Totti with enough time to father a child and pen a novella but his shot from 25 lands in Almunia’s arms.

60′ Slowing the tempo down here for a bit, which they desperately need. This is going to be the most difficult time for these bruised bodies and tired legs.

58′ Short corner….cross is headed out. Huge Arsenal counter thwarted by a piss poor Eboue pass – only Riise and David were back and someone was wide open to receive a pass but Eboue hoofed it far wide. Incredibly shaky there..

Totti volley goes wide…Mirko slalom….he’s double teamed in the box, after slipping, and Roma win the corner.

56′ Dangerous long ball sent over the top but Doni’s able to reach it before it bites Roma in the arse.

55′ Class stop by Motta. Sagna puts in a lazy ball and Roma take it back the other way where Motta is called for the foul. Boo.

54′ Tonetto beats his man, whips it into the box…Roma regain possession but it’;s eventually knocked way forward for an Arsenal goal kick.

Diamoutene is limping. This is SPECTACULAR.

53′ Arsenal break and Eboue’s shot deflects out for yet another corner….dangerous header saved by Doni.

It appears Brighi is in the back, btw.

51′ Totti fouled again – Diaby is on a tear – and it’s a free kick from 35. Riiiise…..saved by Almunia on the floor. Hard shot, easy save.

50′ Totti to Motta….cross…Baptista dives for the header but it lands just wide.

48′ Riise starts a counter after a sweet tackle on RVP and is flattened by Diaby for his troubles; yellow to Abou.

47′ Mirko starts to slalom but is held up by someone (Diaby? I’m now in small screen stream mode) and Arsenal head down the other end where Riise, playing out left, is called for the foul. Another goddamn free kick within dangerous territory. Headed out, thankfully.

Aquilani warming up.

SECOND HALF KICKOFF

The lads are returning from the locker room.

Also, if you bombard that Sopcast stream and force it to lag, I will hunt you down and make your life a living hell. Group hug.

I’ve gone to Sopcast – Channel 68115 – after experiencing multiple disasters with embedded streaming. It’s in Russian, so that’s an added bonus over English commentary, even if you don’t happen to understand a damn word.

HALFTIME

The result is precisely what’s been needed, but let’s not let the favorable – or even – scoreline cloud the fact that Roma is now operating with precisely ZERO centerbacks with starting experience in the shirt. They’ve played well in Juan’s absence, but they need to keep Arsenal well away from the Roman box. Riise and Diamoutene? God help us.

44′ My stream went down but I’m hearing a penalty noncall. Maybe it’s best I didn’t see it?

42′ Roma break…stuffed quickly by Gallas. He did well there.

41′ Pizarro fouled hard by Denilson – knee on knee. Because that’s just what they need.

39′ Splendid move by Mirko to create some space but the shot is off.

Baptista with a predictably awful pass to Totti. His form is just rubbish right now, unfortunately.

38′ Headed out easily by Diamoutene it appeared (my stream isn’t fantastic).

Another goddamn foul won by RVP within crossing distance of the box. You’d think this were by design or something.

37′ Motta pushed over by Bendtner near the goal line – clear foul – no call.

Intelligent look by David for Mirko but someone was riding up Vuci’s backside and the ball went through to Almunia.

36′ Clichy sends in a nice lofted cross and it’s headed well by someone (Diaby, methinks) but into Doni’s arms.

35′ Poor Totti throw results in Motta knocking it out of bounds. we’ll give him those.

Totti and Mirko on the attack and Mirko slides a shot in that deflects up and over for a corner.

33′ Bendtner taken off the ball easily again. I think I may actually fear his sub – whomever it may be – more than anyone outside of Nasri today.

32′ Yet another dead ball situation where the ball can be whipped into the box for Arsenal. The sheer volume of this already is alarming.

30′ Seriously, though, what a fantastic half hour from Juan. Played a helluva game.

What is going on tactically right now? Who’s playing where? Do we even want to make a guess?

(Riise is in at CB. This should go well.)

27′ Unreal. Juan comes off injured. Baptista on. Unfuckingbelievable.

26′ Motta’s shot deflected out for yet another corner. Short….Motta unable to get off a shot in the far corner of the box.

Pizarro yellowed going back the other way.

25′ Brighi on it…Mirko…Totti…Tonetto…Taddei…Riise….David…Totti….fouled. That’s what possession does.

This day is no going well technologically, is it?

23′ Three quick chances in possession after Roma hounded Almunia; Taddei playing like this is the final.

The liveblog has been deleted due to system glitch, so we’ll just keep going from here.

God I hate Word Press.

Roma (0) v Arsenal (1)

As it stands, there will be no Totti. There will be no De Rossi. There will be no Perrotta. The squad list appears bustling, but as ever, it’s anything but. The bodies are dropping. Those that could be considered “fit” we can probably count on one hand. Mexes has the flu. Aquilani will be risking life and limb solely for a 15 minute cameo. Juan hasn’t played since Genoa. Pizarro’s thigh remains in question. Doni’s knee and shoulder give him worries – before we assess the state of his brain. Simone Loria is unfit in more ways than one. Things have become so desire there may be more behind this picture than a first glance would indicate:

And in the wake of crippling injuries, only a cohesive team can reign victorious.

The defense will need to be strong, that goes without saying. If they crumble the rest is moot. The back four must be collectively and individually perfect. Same goes for the midfield, but they inspire little confidence as early rumors indicate a 34 year old left back who has played all of seven games this year will be given his central midfield debut. And without the human safety net known as Daniele De Rossi, no less. Matteo Brighi is a fine stand-in general and Rodrigo Taddei no doubt a valiant soldier, but the collective unit hardly inspires a great deal of fear.

David Pizarro will, should he find himself fit enough, have to be on his game, as when he’s not the dynamic of the side shifts. The attack is scattered, lifeless and ineffective. The midfield forced into retreat and the defense pegged on their back foot the entire game.

At striker it will be either Francesco or Julio Baptista. If Francesco plays – and really, at this point it should be expected he starts on the pine but a massive lift should the opposite come true – perfection is but the standard, regardless of injury. If Julio plays, he’ll have to turn in the game of his brief Roman career.

In short, every one will need to turn in a night of perfection under the brilliant European nights. That is except for one man. An enigmatic, infuriatingly inconsistent striker, yes. But one with supreme qualities and a heart that beats for both Roma and the big game, transforming him into a burgeoning legend. He’ll have to transcend perfection. Fortunately enough, this is his wheelhouse. The days he lives to conquer and we live to watch.

Squad

Roma:

4 JUAN SILVEIRA DOS SANTOS
5 PHILIPPE MEXES
7 DAVID MARCELO CORTES PIZARRO
8 ALBERTO AQUILANI
9 MIRKO VUCINIC
10 FRANCESCO TOTTI
11 RODRIGO FERRANTE TADDEI
13 MARCO MOTTA
14 FILIPE
15 SIMONE LORIA
17 JOHN ARNE RIISE
19 JULIO BAPTISTA
21 SOULEYMANE DIAMOUTENE
22 MAX TONETTO
23 VINCENZO MONTELLA
24 JEREMY MENEZ
25 GUILHERME DE MORAIS GUSMAO ARTUR
27 JULIO SERGIO BERTAGNOLI
32 DONIEBER ALEXANDER MARANGON (DONI)
33 MATTEO BRIGHI
35 ANDREA BERTOLACCI

Projected XI

Doni
Motta, Juan, Mexes, Riise
Taddei, Brighi, Tonetto
Pizarro
Baptista, Vucinic

This lineup is how RomaNews sees matters shaking out, but given the fact that not even Spalletti knows what his lineup will look like until the morning’s medical rounds, I don’t think there’s much use in dwelling on this. No point guessing injuries.

Key Matchups

Arsenal are going to do precisely what they did in London: attack with speed and life. Quick, incisive movement, bursting runs and close numbers down on Romans when in possession. They’re going to try and make life hell for Roma’s attackers and a worse hell for the midfield and defense. In other words: prevent Roma from playing Spalletti’s game.

Roma v Possession: Maintaining possession is really the most simple form of defense. The opposition can’t score when they don’t have the ball, can they? That’s step number one after the shambollocks in London. Keep the ball smartly – meaning doing so while accounting for the counter – and half the battle is won.

A Back Four v Four in the Back: With Juan ready to go the worry lessens significantly. He’s twice the player as Loria and it also allows Mexes to focus on playing his own game, rather than having to play the part for two. Motta’s been a stud and Riise has been solid more often than not; thus enabling them to easily play as a cohesive defensive unit as opposed to simply standing as four defenders on a pitch. If they do that while playing to their expected levels, Arsenal should find attacking a great deal more difficult than in London.

Mirko v Arsenal: Great players can transcend tactics. Mirko’s that and so much more.

Roma v Injuries: Goes without saying, I think. For a team physically shattered going in, they can ill afford any other setbacks.

Arsenal v Rome: In the last two years, Roma have dropped a total of twelve Serie A points at home. They’ve lost twice in the Champions league and drawn once – with an incredibly strong Manchester United team taking the bulk of the credit.

The last English team to jaunt to Rome after a 1-0 win in London? This one:

The Stadio Olimpico is a fortress. Their fortress.

Predictions

Maybe no predictions will bring some luck?

Not really sure what else to say. They deserve this. After the drama and mourning of the summer, the constant wave of injuries resulting in a horrid start and the continued crawl back up the table, they deserve another round at the very least. They’ve fought too hard all year long. But then, the gods haven’t been smiling, so why should they now?

When: 2045 CET, 1545 EST. (Daylight savings.)
Where: Olimpico, Rome.
Forecast: 8°C, clear.

Streaming: MyP2P.

Liveblog: Si, and early, as this is only really half the preview. Much of what needs to be discussed can only happen once some concrete injury news leaks.

FORZA ROMA

Like any good French team, Bordeaux will be coming in backs first, white flags at the ready.

But before we delve further into the French psyche, let’s run down the situations:

Roma win/draw: though automatically.
Roma lose and Chelsea lose/draw*: through.
Roma lose and Chelsea win: UEFA Cup.
Odds of Chelsea losing to Cluj at Stamford Bridge: right up there with Spal ever growing hair again.

* – Roma have the tiebreaker with a Chelsea draw due to the goal difference advantage in games they went head-to-head (+1).

Of course the great hope is winning the group and thus getting that invaluable one seed in the round of 16 knockouts. And really, a first seed is desperately need this year to avoid the Barca lottery. I’d rather they play two at Old Trafford than face Barca home and away. So let’s just win, shall we?

Unfortunately, at least for me, there’s an extreme confidence going into this one. Partially because of the great run of form currently – particularly the fact that they’ve conceded only three in their last seven – but mostly because of the last game. They were utterly horrific for 60 minutes. Abysmal doesn’t even begin to describe it. The lads went about that game like they were getting a root canal in the back of a panel van – at least until the hour mark hit and they took care of business. Yes, Bordeaux was a man down, but Roma typically plays much worse with the advantage. And lord knows with their confidence, merely holding Roma would’ve sent them spiraling down into a dark dungeon of depression. Which makes the two teams night and day, yet the lads still came out of France with a 3-1 victory. What’s going to be the case at home with a team brimming with confidence, a legendary player on his game, a feline for a keeper and a defense and midfield which have been taking on and brushing aside all comers? This is set up perfectly for the Romans. Almost too perfectly.

Too much confidence? That’s my great worry. But I trust Spalletti will keep them humble enough that their technical qualities and desire to win will outshine anything else.

Tactically, fortunately, they’ll know exactly what to expect going in:

“I know what to expect in Rome. We must not imagine that Bordeaux will throw in the attack to mark immediately. We have 90, 95 minutes to win this match. We’ll first we strive to defend well. To win the match, it must first defend well and if we succeed we may have opportunities to win this meeting.” Laurent Blanc

My French is a touch rusty, but I believe this translates to: leave lots of men back and pray for a moment of brilliance from Gourcuff.

Not wholly unlike Roma it should be said. Although swap out pray for a moment of brilliance from Gourcuff and insert wait for a moment of brilliance from [insert name here]. It won’t be Stamford Bridge-stingy, but I gather Spal will play this one pretty conservatively. Winning the group would be wonderful and all, but qualification is overwhelmingly more important.

Squads

Roma:

This is mildly frightening: Roma have only called up enough to fill up the pitch XI and a sub’s bench and no more due to injuries. One of whom is Riccardo Brosco, all of 17 with zero top flight experience.

ARTUR
BAPTISTA
BRIGHI
BROSCO
CASSETTI
CICINHO
DE ROSSI
JUAN
LORIA
MARANGON
MENEZ
MEXES
MONTELLA
PANUCCI
PERROTTA
RIISE
TOTTI
VUCINIC

Indisponibili: Pizarro, Aquilani, Okaka, Taddei e Tonetto

Rodrigo went down today with an injury in training. Typical.

Bordeaux:

Ramé, Valverde – Chalmé, Diawara, Jurietti, Placente, Planus, Trémoulinas – Diarra, Ducasse, Fernando, Wendel, Gourcuff, Sertic, Traoré – Bellion, Cavenaghi, Chamakh, Gouffran, Jussiê, Obertan.

Projected XI

Doni
Panucci, Mexes, Juan, Riise
Perrotta, DDR, Brighi
Baptista
Mirko, Totti

As ever, the great debate over who will play RB wages on, with the sound money on GOMR – adding a 4th player with a striker’s disposition to the side, obviously.

A rejuvenated Vuci in place of Menez, with the remaining the leftovers from Chievo.

Last Game

Predictions

For the win. They’re simply too strong now.

Game: 2-0 Roma
Goals: Totti (37), Perrotta (41)
MOTM: Francesco

When: 2045 CET, 1445 EST.
Where: Olimpico, Rome.
Forecast: 9°C, 80% chance of rain.

Streaming: Here.
UEFA: Here.
Liveblog: Si.

FORZA ROMA

I’m not concerned with Chelsea. They’re not a worry because to worry about them, one would have to be able to look past all that cripples the Giallorossi at the moment. They’re out of form, devoid of confidence and desperate for medical cures, even contemplating a second opinion from that guy running an orthopedic clinic out of his Lancia Delta underneath the bridge. One of the few silver linings from the weekend was they left the pitch without succumbing to injury, leaving only their pride wounded. Today? The injury crisis returns. Or maybe it never left, simply fell asleep drunk behind the garbage cans out back. The grounds of Stamford Bridge have awoken the dormant curse, and it’s back to wondering not how well they’ll play, but whether or not they’ll have to thieve some bodies from Madame Tussauds to fill in the gaps. (Can’t possibly worry about such trivial details as heartbeats at the moment.)

Pop your Prozac, ladies and gents, because here we go yet again:

Doni: Blow to his right knee in training today which forced him to stop. Game-time decision for tomorrow. If no Doni, Artur makes his Roman debut at Stamford Bridge. Oh la de fucking da. (I think he plays.)

Pizarro: High left ankle injury. Out.

Perrotta: Flu. Game-time decision.

Cassetti: Thigh. Out. But we knew that.

Baptista: Same as Cassetti.

Juan: Muscular Problems. Questionable.

Tonetto: “Pain”. Questionable, although feel free to just say out. Unless Riise pulls a reprise of last year, there’s no way in hell he plays.

So even if some of these lads do play, they’ll be at far less than 100%. And what do most of them bring to the table? Defense. What has crippled Roma so dearly recently? Defense. How splendid.

And then there’s Totti. I don’t think anyone is under the illusion that he’s even remotely close to fitness, but we saw this weekend how undeniably magnificent Francesco is at merely 50%. He plays, he’s probably the best player on the pitch whatever his fitness levels. The man’s simply a genius.

Now if you’d like to worry about the Blues…they are, according to many, the best team in the world right now.

Joy.

Standings

Group A

	Pld	W	D	L	GF	GA	GD	Pts
Chelsea	2	1	1	0	4	0	+4	4
CFR Cluj	2	1	1	0	2	1	+1	4
Roma	2	1	0	1	4	3	+1	3
Bordeaux	2	0	0	2	1	7	−6	0

Squads

Roma:

1 AQUILANI
2 ARTUR
3 BERTAGNOLI (J. Serg)
4 BRIGHI
5 CICINHO
6 DE ROSSI
7 FILIPE
8 JUAN
9 LORIA
10 MARANGON (Doni)
11 MENEZ
12 MEXES
13 MONTELLA
14 OKAKA
15 PANUCCI
16 PERROTTA
17 PIZARRO
18 RIISE
19 TADDEI
20 TONETTO
21 TOTTI
22 VUCINIC

Chelsea

A List
Petr Cech
Branislav Ivanovich
Ashley Cole
Michael Essien
Ricardo Carvalho
Frank Lampard
Franco Di Santo
Joe Cole
Didier Drogba
Michael Ballack
Florent Malouda
José Bosingwa
Wayne Bridge
Paulo Ferreira
Deco
Salomon Kalou
Carlo Cudicini
John Terry
Alex
Juliano Belletti
Nicolas Anelka
Henrique Hilario

B List
John Mikel Obi
Rhys Taylor
Sam Hutchinson
Michael Mancienne
Miroslav Stoch

B is essentially locally trained players (2 years) between the ages of 17 & 21.

Injuries

We know the depressing story of our fair Giallorossi, so onto Chelsea:

Drogba, Cashley & Ballack: Out.

J. Cole & Cech: Questionable.

Deco will be available, but may not start.

Projected XI’s

Roma:

Doni
Cicinho, Mexes, Panucci, Riise
DDR, Brighi
Taddei, Aquilani, Vucinic
Totti

Despite the injuries, that’s the best starting XI we’ve seen since last winter. Of course, names on a sheet and bunch of hobbled athletes on a pitch are two entirely different matters, but it’s something.

Chelsea:

Haven’t watched a moment of Chelsea since the Champions League final, and even then I was only glancing at the tube sporadically. So apparently I’ve missed a couple things, like a complete footballing revolution. Thus, I haven’t the slightest clue what’s going on in West London. The good internets tell me they’ve been playing a 4-5-1 of sorts with lots and lots of success (27 goals in 11 or something). So that’s nice. With their injuries, I’d guess their lineup won’t look all that dissimilar to the one which put up at 5 spot against Middleborough this weekend:

Cudicini
Boswinga, Terry, Carvalho, Bridge
J. Cole, Lampard, Mikel Obi, Belletti, Maloudacris
Anelka

Maybe a Deco/Belletti swap, Cech for Cudicini (doubtful) and Kalou for Cole. That’s all I’ve got at the moment. Whatever it is, it’ll be good for them, bad for Roma.

The Hopes

This one isn’t about points, nor is it about matchups. It’s about the peripherals which will benefit the Giallorossi in the short term for the long term. A win will be an arduous uphill battle and a draw not much less. Their basic want is simply to create more and more building blocks. Once that’s achieved, they can start worrying about results against a team like Chelsea; leaving us now with mere hopes. We hope…

…that no one gets hurt.

…that they show strong mental character for 90 minutes.

…that they improve on the spots of good form from the weekend.

…that they instill a modicum of confidence in themselves for the trip to Udine.

…that they become more identifiable as the Roman XI we knew, not the underperforming individuals we currently see.

…that the porous, hobbled defense plugs the holes and rights itself.

…that Good Doni shows up.

…that the attack shows some signs of life in the final third from someone not named Francesco Totti.

…that those same signs beget a little thing called “execution”.

…and that all of this comes together so that at some point today we can stop hoping and start believing.

When: 2045 CET, 1445 EST
Where: Stamford Bridge, London.
Forecast: Clear, 11°C.

Streaming: Here or PPV at uefa.com.
Liveblog: Believe so.

FORZA ROMA

Unless Crespo has enrolled in medical school during all the vaca time he’s been afforded by Mourinho, he ain’t the answer. Ditto for Behrami. I’ve found five foolproof elixirs, all for less than the price of co-owning David Pizarro’s David Pizarro. You can thank me later.

Dick Simmons

He can do one of two things:

i. Get everybody fit to The Poobah’s liking without the need for hourly medical rounds.
ii. Become a pillar of hate for the entire squad, creating a genuine team atmosphere while they pound him into smithereens as a united group. And of course they’ll escape prison time as Richard will leap at the chance to volunteer to be steamrolled by a group of strapping young men. And Vito Scala.

Cost: Nothing. Lure the local chapter of Overeaters Anonymous out to Trigoria, take photos, put it on a postcard and send it to Rich with HELP! scratched across the back in cake batter. He’ll arrive at the Fiumicino in a jiffy.

A Proper WAG For David

I’m sure true love and all that bullshit is wonderful, but come on, dude. If you’re going to be a professional footballer, at least act like one.

She might be a dude. Hell, she might even be his brother.

(And, no joke, I discovered this picture in a google search for Vito Scala. I looked to the person on the right first and thought, “Wow, Vito’s really let himself go”.)

Can you just imagine the hop in his step with a real, honest to Buddha WAG to go home to? He’d make Philou look like a poor man’s Loria.

Cost: I’m going to have to defer this to those of you with flexible morals. What’s an average hourly rate these days?

A wedding gift for Rodrigo & Alberto

Lord knows how slighted they must feel with absolutely no one recognizing their man-love union. Their form will pick up infinitely with the right gift to show them that the tifosi care.

Cost: Depends on where they registered. I’m guessing Pottery Barn, so we’ll go with this one, giving them a place to cradle their love.

A motivational speaker.

Spal does a lot of wonderful things, but rallying the troops isn’t exactly his forte.

There’s a hole somewhere in this theory. Can’t quite think of it at the moment.

Cost: Unknown. Until they figure out the technology, grainy VHS should suffice. (Rosella hasn’t sprung for the DVD player yet.)

The cast of ER. From every season.

It’s not perfect, they aren’t real doctors (details), but they’ve surely picked up a thing or two from speaking medical mumbojumbo for the last [insert however many seasons this show's been around - 49?] seasons. Plus, they’re certainly better than Dottore Bozo & Friends. Where’s the harm?

Cost: Since it’s going off air after this season, I imagine they’re all scrambling for new jobs at the moment. Cheap labor, baby. Cheap labor.

Roma v Chelsea squad lists

Roma’s fleet:

1 AQUILANI
2 ARTUR
3 BERTAGNOLI (J. Serg)
4 BRIGHI
5 CICINHO
6 DE ROSSI
7 FILIPE
8 JUAN
9 LORIA
10 MARANGON (Doni)
11 MENEZ
12 MEXES
13 MONTELLA
14 OKAKA
15 PANUCCI
16 PERROTTA
17 PIZARRO
18 RIISE
19 TADDEI
20 TONETTO
21 TOTTI
22 VUCINIC

The only difference is no Virga. Boo. Hiss. Groan.

Chelsea’s fleet:

One is still missing a photo. I assume it’s very young, made from only the finest parts and still under contract to somebody else.

Financial crisis my ass.

I stumbled upon the lineup from another 1-0 loss in England which played a large part in showing Roma the exit door from a European competition, this one just 24 months ago in the 2005-06 UEFA Cup. Just for kicks, take a look:

1 Gianluca Curci
2 Christian Panucci
5 Philippe Mexes
4 Samuel Kuffour
25 Leandro Cufre
30 Alessandro Amantino
15 Olivier Dacourt
11 Rodrigo Taddei
17 Damiano Tommasi
14 Houssine Kharja
20 Simone Perrotta

Quite frankly, we had no business expecting Roma to make two straight quarter final Champions League runs on limited resources just two years after that lineup took the field, but they did. We have no business expecting that lineup, over the course of two years, to transition into a scudetto contender, but they are. A solid team it was, no doubt; but now, to take the same field as megamillionaires and Mercenaries R’ Us Internazionale and Manchester United and feel like they can not only compete, but win? Nigh unbelievable.

In two years this team has gone from a UEFA Cup also-ran to one of the most highly spoken of teams on the continent, with a core of players and a coach who could walk onto any team in the world. A constant focus of boyish gushing for the brightest minds in the sport, and the blueprint for, a term which may be a bit premature but still apt, world-beaters Manchester United. Roma has come a long way in a short time.

Much of the team is still in or entering its prime (minus Il Capitano, a harrowing thought, but not the end of the world – or maybe it is), and new superstars are emerging almost weekly. Mirko Vucinic has transformed into our wildest dreams, and the Balkans Maradona tag seems immensely appropriate. Juan has been, when available, a stunning addition to the side, and surely one of the biggest steals of last summer’s mercato on the continent – not to mention making the Chivu sale look like smart business. Alberto Aquilani, also an unfortunate victim of injury, has at the very least given glimpses of something extraordinarily special, and who knows what an injury-free year would provide.

Then there’s Daniele De Rossi. In short, he’s everything you hope for in an athlete. He eats, sleeps and breathes AS Roma. Pure class, pure passion. It will be a difficult day when Roma loses its icon, talisman, and captain, but how many teams can say they’d lose a Francesco Totti and have a wildly gifted, breathtakingly passionate, hometown player waiting in the wings, ready to keep things running in stride? Zero? Or perhaps that’s too high a number. Roma is lucky to have Totti, but it’s equally as lucky to have De Rossi. He comes to define why Roma is known as La Magica, and why it is so beloved.

There’s a saying in boxing which says “styles make fights”, and it can be applied across the board in sports. Unfortunately in Manchester they employ a similar style, and simply have more resources and a higher degree of talent at their disposal. It was an impossible mission from the start. But all in all, it’s hard to call this anything but a successful run. It’s been a long time since Roma fans have enjoyed the heights of the win in Madrid, a massive result against the richest team in the world, and one which is still the top team in the top league, according to UEFA. They went deeper than any Italian team, and still have much to build on. The squad, the system and the team mentality will be tweaked and strengthened before next year. Adaption will be key, and the more time in the system and under Spalletti, the better the team will be.

This was never going to be an overnight process. As has been said here many times, “it’s a journey, not a destination”. Simply part of the journey, and another “experience”. The core will regroup and ready itself for another challenge, almost assuredly with a few fresh faces looking to upgrade the quality of the squad, and use these experiences as they fight for the chance to defend their home fortress in next year’s final.

Two years ago, it would’ve been hard to imagine a missed penalty in the 30th minute of a Champions League quarter final against the best team in the world striking such a resounding blow simply because there was so much belief Roma could actually win the game. That, in itself, is simply remarkable.

There will be a good deal of time for 20/20 hindsight vision, and chalkboard lessons on what went wrong where, but for now, it was a great run, and here’s to next year – and, perhaps, maybe even a bit of destiny.

It’s only supposed to be played during wins, but it seems more than worthy of run in the jukebox right now.

Udinese

Unquestionably the most difficult game remaining this year, and I think – “think” being written hesitantly, perhaps with even a hint of tremble – that’s a good thing. I’m glad they don’t have time to think about Manchester, or keep it in the back of their minds as though Catania was coming to town over the weekend. If they want to stay focused and stay in the hunt for major silverware, they need to focus 100% on the Udinese game. I suspect they know this. (And if Udinese wins, you can feel free to call me an idiot.)

The great decider is, of course, what the squad list looks like come the weekend, and whether or not we’ll be graced with the presence of one Il Capitano. Even if he is back, it’s unlikely he’ll be in vintage form, and at best they’ll have to do with a less than fully fit Totti. Of course, Totti at 75% is still better than 100% of the players on the pitch, so the only gauge will be about 15 minutes after the opening whistle. Til then, we pray.*

* – Roma news says there’s been improvement, let’s hope that continues.

As far as Udinese goes, they’re in a pretty good run of form right now, not having lost since February. It’ll take a minor miracle for them to nab the almighty fourth champions league spot, but they won’t play with any less urgency. Fab Quags and Toto, the two unquestioned dangermen, were on form tag team style during March. A huge worry because, as I’m sure everyone’s seen once or twice, you almost need a defender to slap handcuffs on Quags as soon as he enters the opposition’s half because he can score from the second deck. A true exercise in playing 90 minutes, as the last game displayed (and let’s hope for the sake of a result Udinese doesn’t go down 3 men this time and score a quad in six minutes).

It’ll be a big test of their mettle. Today they looked as though they were running on adrenaline and panic for the first segment of the game before settling down and fighting for their European lives. It didn’t work against ManU, but Udinese is no ManU. A similar outlook will be very welcome, and quite probably successful, this weekend in Udine.

News stuffs tomorrow, tonight it’s just:

Grazie Roma

On to Udinese…..

Game.

91′ Foul on Espo, 1 minute stoppage. Thank fuck.

90′ Doni deflects one over the net. I don’t know whether his fantastic game is good or bad, because it might just mean he’s used up another of his SuperDoni days, and the quota is dwindling. I don’t want to see him drop kick one behind him into his own net on Sunday. Sadly, I’m almost bracing for it.

88′ Fiddling around, waiting for the final whistle. Vucinic stopoped by one of 17 ManU defenders on the pitch.

86′ Mancini fires one off someone’s face, DDR fires one high…..typing that made me sick.

84′ Lotsa pitter patter here, ManU defending well deep.

What the hell is a scuderro?

“Roma are still alive in the scuderro race.”

82′ Espo on for Taddei. HEY, a fucking Totti mention. 82nd minute. Whaddya know.

80′ Has anyone noticed not one single mention of Totti by the ESPN announcers this game, but they can’t stop tugging on Neville’s Neville? Come on, ladies.

79′ Not much going on in either direction besides a lot of passing and standing around.

76′ Roma corner. Another corner. Nothin doin besides confusion in the box.

75′ I’ll just be glad when this game is over. Shit, I might even do the Udinese preview tonight.

O’Shea on for Carrick, Rooney on for the Welsh Yeti.

73′ Mexes has looked a bit shaky today. Here’s to not getting drawn with Manchester in the next decade. Yellow for Simone.

Is it me, or does Ludovic coming on feel like a ManU goal is inevitable?

Game. 1-0 Manchester on the break. Mexes couldn’t defend the center and the man. And so we look towards 2008-09.

69′ Piza off, here comes LUUUUUUUUUUUDOVICIOUS. Simone will drop back now.

68′ Tevez offside, if not he was clear on goal. Corner Roma…..oh, Juan missed it……clear chance in front of goal.

67′ So where’s Giuly, Spal? Corner, Roma. Taken easily by Pizarro.

66′ Foul by Panucci on Anderson, looked quite like a dive. Headed out by Philou, atta boy. Hey, this might be our miracle….Gary Neville is warming up.

65′ Headed up by Philou….Mancini and Vuci counter almost too quick for them.

64′ Park wins a free kick. Max defends very well, ManU corner.

63′ Juan cleans up in the back, Roma seems destined foir something here. Taddei shows too much ball….how about some Ludovicious.

I hate these dumbass biased announcers. Really do.

61′ Tonetto wins the ball off Park, well done, sir. Well done indeed.

59′ Corner Roma…our fair Giallorossi are winning some chances here. Piss poor corner by Piza, ManU counter….Taddei wins another poor ball. Vuci manhandled.

58′ Ronaldo’s warming up.

JUAN AGAIN. Fucking immense.

57′ TADDEI. Take your sweet time why don’t cha? Corner Roma, after Taddei gets a sitter blocked. Juan header saved on the line.

56′ Juan kung fu defends. I love him. Absolutely love him. Hargreaves fouls somebody. Here’s Max.

Nope, it’s gonna be Tonetto. At least there’s a left peg in the house now. Get ready for a ton of stoppage time later.

Here comes Cicinho. Dislocated shoulder for Cassetti? Ugh.

53′ Stunning noncall on Cassetti, oh he’s down. Shoulder again. Time to warm up Tonetto. Unfortunate, almost, because he’s been everywhere.

52′ OMR for the FK, shades of Madrid…….heaved out by ManPoo.

51′ Long ball wasted, picked up by Doni. JUAN. FUCKING JUAN. Saves the day. Albeit a bit long on the touch by Park, but Juan is amazing. Another corner. What’s this, infinity times 12?

49′ Simone clears it out, but ManU ends up wih possession again after the free kick. Cassetti whips it out of bounds. Doni just went full out for a ball into the side netting. Love him.

48′ DDR defends well….Cassetti misses an open fucking net….ah Christ.

47′ How many corners is this for ManPoo now? Infinity times seven? Eight? Good lord. Goal kick. Mancini shot in the box stuffed by ManU. Sneaky goal scoring chance there.

46′ Wow, hadn’t even checked the schedule. Udinese on Sunday, eh? Wonderful. Come on, David.ManU now with possession, De Rossi deflects it out of bounds for a corner.

No changes either side.

SECOND HALF

FORZA ROMA

And it’s time to pray, ladies and gents, for the most magical half of football you’ve ever seen in your life.

I think it’s about time for Giuly to come on for Taddei. There’s nothing to lose.

An extremely exciting game for neutral observers, surely, and it’s great to see Roma with so much life after being put on their back foot for the entire first quarter hour. I don’t see how this game can end 0-0, and let’s just hope it’s the good guys who get the goals.

HALFTIME

47′ Silvestre plays it OOB. Roma playing for one last chance….foul on Taddei.

46′ 2 minutes…..goal kick ManU.

45′ Foul on Simone. Beard’s lookin’ good, so that’s something. Perrotta has already covered 5500m….good christ.

44′ Cheeky cross with the outside of Cassetti’s found scooped by EVDS. Sweet ball from MC.

43′ Mirko back on, very sore it appears. Foul on park, poor call. Out of bounds. A goal here would be monumental.

Vucinic walking off. That’s a good start, pray for Mirko. Just be smart with 10, that’s all I ask.

41′ Corner cleared out. Vucinic hurt. Oh fuck. Lower back. Wes Brown’s knee right into his back.

40′ Rio looks hurt…..oh boy. Counter Roma….DDR….Vucistopped…..fuck.Cassetti smartly heads the cross out of bounds for a corner. Just noticed Marco shaved pregame. Atta boy.

38′ Foul on Simone, who has been running ragged. Juan is a stud. That’s all. I don’t care if Roma fails to win a trophy, he’s worth Chivu and so much more.

37′ Goal kick ManU.

36′ What a fucking tackle by Juan. Roma in control right now.

35′ Regardless of the scoringline, Roma is making everyone proud right now. They’re all fight.

34′ Daniele playing like a madman now. Perhaps he needed that PK miss.

DDR backheel stuffed! Fuck.

Absolutely devastating. Surprising, because he made one on a much bigger stage in Berlin.

31′ Daniele needs to calm down. Fantastic defensive work by Juan.

Oh Daniele. Baggio circa 1994.

Amantino wins the PK!!!!

29′ Vuci fires on on PENALTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Horrible pass from Taddei cleaned up easily by ManU. Giuly will be making an early entrance.

28′ Dangerous ManU counter ruled offside. Whew.

27′ OMR cross headed out by Carrick, corner Roma.

26′ Park sends one out of bounds. Not sure what he was going for there, perhaps Ronaldo in the stands.

25′ Doni fires one out of bound just to let us known he’s still heart attack Doni.

“Roma have not won in their last 2 away matches in UCL”…..Ummmm, I think they won the last one, you dumb fucks.

24′ Doni saves a laser from Anderson. MOTM thus far, easy. Goal kick Roma.

23′ Hargreaves gets owned by Juan and Cassetti in the box.

22′ Offside Park, Roma pushing forward. Weak header from Vuci caught by EVDS.

21′ Cassetti into the box, Pique clears it for a throw. Hargreaves falls with the ball out of bounds, fk ManU.

20′ Anderson wins it back with some hustle….Pizarro over the top to Vuci….

17′ ManU possessing….counter Vuci…..foul Anderson on OMR….Amantino foul.

16′ Roma gain possession, long ball handled easily……Doni is a fuckin hero right now. Should be 2-0 ManU.

“Right when I thought I was out he pulled me right back in.”

15′ Not much happening, ManU with possession…..goal kick for Roma.

13′ Nice swipe…..Pizarro sends a poor pass deep. Here comes Piza again, Taddei……EDVS saves one on Vuci…..Clusterfucking…EDVS saves a laser from Amantino. MUCH BETTER.

11′ The good news is that ManU is controlling like Roma to start the game last week, so perhaps Roma’s in line for a couple goals. Mexes with a great challenge on the ball to save another gscoring opportunity.

10′ Great save by Doni on Hargreaves. Jesus christ, slow it down.

9′ Headed out by OMR for a corner. ManU coming at Roma fast……corner headed just over the bar.

8′ Good buildup thwarted, foul by Mexes, fk, ManPoo. Poor throw by Cassetti.

7′ Tackle by Juan, a nice one, splits out to Park, fires to Tevez who heads it wide. Very unlucky.

6′ Park shoots wide, kept on by OMR. Coulda been dangerous.

5′ Amantino tackled by Park,ManU playing with the balls.

4′ Roma balls to the wall here….shot wide by Taddei. I love the way they’re playing. They came to win.

3′ Early sweet play by Amantino…cross cleared by Philou, corner ManU….odd header by Taddei. Tevez offside.

2′ Throw to Roma, cheeky work in the back from Mexes, run by Cassetti, cross scooped by EDVS>

1′ Early foul by Anderson, booted out for a ManU goal kick.

Kickoff

What was with that extra special hello from van der Sar to Simone? Didn’t EVDS show up at Juve after Perrotta?

Daniele De Rossi is bouncing around like a freakin’ animal. OMR with the band, but this could be DDR’s night.

FORZA ROMA

Too many commercials. I need some on the field stuffs.

I’d take a Ryan Babel-esque call tonight surely. Maybe a pk from Amantino? After the last few weeks, that’s the best we can hope for from him. Or maybe this will be the ultimate “gimme a contract already, dammit” game?

Pregame: Tommy Smyth just provided the translation for Marco Cassetti and managed not to say “bulge the old onion bag”. I suppose that’s step one in the right direction.
———————————————————————————————————————————–

Banners graciously made again by RomaShield27 of

I wanted to wax on regarding keeping hopes low and all that jazz, then I saw the starting XIs: no Ronaldo, no Rooney, no Evra. This thing ain’t over.

MANCHESTER UNITED (4-3-3):

Van der Sar;
Brown, Ferdinand, Pique, Silvestre;
Anderson, Carrick, Hargreaves;
Park, Tevez, Giggs.

ROMA (4-2-3-1):

Doni;
Cicinho, Mexes, Juan, Cassetti;
De Rossi, Pizarro;
Taddei, Perrotta, Mancini;
Vucinic.

No respect. No fuckin’ respect.

————————————————————————————————————————————

Sounds like Alberto is unable to go, no words on the benches yet. It’s the lineup we thought we’d see, and that’s fine by me. I hope David Pizarro makes up for every bad thing I’ve said about him and pulls the strings on at least a half dozen dimes tonight. Hell, if he plays a part in two or more goals and Roma wins, I’ll buy a DP 7 Kappa kit and wear it mighty proudly.

I really cannot wrap my mind around benching Rooney. Ronaldo I can actually see, but Rooney is a 90 minute player, and those are integral in these types of games.

I would also pay good money for an early knock to Rio, and to see him forced off early, tying that arrogant fuck Fergie’s hands when it comes to substitutions. Actually, an Tomas Kusnzvsijcaka sighting would be nice also.

Fergie made me do this:

More than anything, I don’t hate Fergsuon for his arrogance, I hate him for giving me hope. Bastard.

I can’t help it, I’m excited now. It’s the Curse of La Magica. Ah.

mir·a·cle [mir-uh-kuhl]
–noun

1. an effect or extraordinary event in the physical world that surpasses all known human or natural powers and is ascribed to a supernatural cause.
2. such an effect or event manifesting or considered as a work of God.
3. a wonder; marvel.
4. a wonderful or surpassing example of some quality

I’ve spent much of this year hammering out long previews, varying in length on the amount of research I feel like doing. Today is different. They need a miracle, and that’s all. There is nothing to say. Absolutely nothing.

Just pray, and this:

(The squad is in yesterday’s post. There will be a liveblog up before the game.)

If my sources are correct, the Giallorossi were thoroughly outplayed, yet still managed to bag Genoa’s scalp; not unlike the way ManU snuck through the back door and swooped for the three points while everyone was ballroom dancing in the living room, striking a dull and resounding blow to the collective heart of the Giallorossi. I see this as ultimately positive, borderline optimal, as they begin their ascent upon the steep face which has become Old Trafford on Tuesday. What you saw on Saturday was not simply a reversal of fortunes in the scoreline, but the very definition of a 180 degree turn in the face of adversity. Two of the vaunted Holy Roman Trinity were missing, as were nearly the whole of the Roman Samba Contingent: Juan is still suffering from his knock, Mancini’s desire was buried deep within the winter soil a month ago, still yet to be dug out (which will surely coincide with either a contract extension or the official opening of the mercato), and Doni’s brain has taken his quarterly month-long holiday, in its absence leaving a cavernous coconut patrolling the area between the sticks.

Despite it all – even with this being The Year Of The Actual Bench – they managed a crucial, yet perhaps undeserved, three points against a good side in the neverending quest for made-up ground on the Nerazzurri. What does that say to the confidence of an athlete? After spending so many nights deserving a victory but lumbering home without their full spoils, it says they can surely bring their “B”, even “C” game, and grind out a victory without all that fancypants bella calcio. If they do play to their level, they can certainly climb any mountain, but without their top form, they are still a formidable side capable of the requisite three points. And after last Tuesday, they needed that boost of confidence. What if they were on form and fully healthy against Genoa? A bombardment, for sure. They’ll be fine Wednesday.

Who Wants A Sheva?

I’ve wavered on this for the past few weeks since the rumors reared their plain Jane heads. I never liked him at Milan, despite my obvious affection for all things blonde and Ukrainian (of course the fact that he is male and also not available for marriage for the Low! Low! Price! of nothing more than shipping & handling probably did not help matters), and I don’t really have any explanation as to why. My first instinct is it was the ESPN commercial with Scott van Pelt, but that was well into my distaste for all things Sheva.

Speaking of mail-order marriages (his wife, the American model, went shopping for a rich footballer in Milan and got herself a Mr.), we all know why Sheva is in London: the wife. And of course, if you didn’t see this coming the good ship logic sailed on you long ago. A woman was involved, and we all know they ruin everything. We also know that Americans ruin everything (see: Iraq, MLS, KFC, etc). So when you combine the two in a devastating one woman cyclone seeking higher education in an English-speaking country, well, you’re bound to experience an apocalyptic disaster – such as one of the world’s best athletes having to join a pub league team on Sundays to get any type of playing time and some goddamn oranges at halftime.

• - I was 100% kidding about one of those demographics ruining everything, I’m sure everyone can guess which one.

Despite his obvious discontent in London (unless he’s happy just showing up for his bustling paycheck – something I doubt greatly), Sheva has taken his repeated blows on the chin and turned the other cheek, refusing to cause an uproar over his diminishing status. I can guarantee not all superstars would handle that situation as graciously and quietly as he. Imagine if Didier Drogba or Cristiano Ronaldo moved to Milan and found themselves spending more time perusing the crowd for hot chicks with Cristiano Brocchi more often than perusing the opposition for fresh meat with Ivan the Freaking Lunatic. I greatly doubt they would show as much class as Andriy. And perhaps that’s what has almost won me over regarding him. Luciano Spalletti has made it abundantly clear there is no I even in the vicinity of his team, and that locker room unrest has no business at Trigoria anymore (a good and valuable introductory lesson he was handed by a certain Cassanata upon his arrival in la citta eterna). Even with superstar status dwindling by the day, Sheva does not appear to be a guy whose head would match his desired contributions.

The first question on everyone’s mind skips past all other factors and jumps directly to finances. His transfer fee, paid less than two years ago, would be enough to buy most Serie B teams, and his paycheck still among the highest in the world. Even with his price tag being halved, it’s still a substantial amount of money (£15m) for a guy who has been a gilded bench ornament over the past two years. Money obviously means very little to Roman Abramovich, but it’s doubtful he’s going to drop Sheva off in Rome in his private jet for a mere few million quid and a messily romantic all night rendezvous with some mango gelato involving rubber gloves, medicated Chapstick (PRN) and a snorkel. (My gut actually says a loan would be enough for now.)

The man’s still going cost some serious bank, £10m an absolute minimum, I’d venture to guess*, and will still require a contract – however unfeasible – which will bend, if not break, the ceiling of the Giallorossi salary cap (the limit of which, or limit period, will almost surely be up for consideration this summer). Is he willing to take 2.5m before substantial bonuses? This would mean a serious, serious paycut,. His agent says something can be worked out, so perhaps Andriy has reached the point where money is a distant second to reclaiming his past status as a legitimate superstar.

• - I’m 99% sure his contract would be one of the very few whose negotiated transfer fee would be much less than the buyout clause, per the Webster ruling.

And now on to the next question on the list: Is Sheva the player done? Here’s an answer: @#$% no. Watching him play for country, rather than club, proves he is still exquisitely lethal, and still holds a talent very few in the world possess. The tactics at Chelsea never suited him, and perhaps neither did the Premiership – the case with many other highly skilled and technical athletes. The watered-down technique of the EPL is a far cry from Serie A, a place where his pitch intelligence, subtlety and no-need-for-description simple ability to constantly bulge the back of the net have flourished before and can do so again. Players of enough talent to win a Ballon D’Or – an unconscionably absurd award, but one which does require top drawer talent – don’t simply lose their abilities during their prime (neither do athletes who can do this). And if there is anyone who can nurture him back to health, it’s The Grand Imperial Poobah.

Is it feasible? I suppose. There are only so many clubs which can afford to take him on, and Roma is one under the right circumstances. Assuming he’d like to return to Serie A (going back to familiar and bountiful hunting grounds would seem a logical way for Andriy to reclaim his lofty status – I’m guessing he knows that), there are four who can accommodate his requests – even if Roma would need to do some finagling. Milan is the only real consideration aside from Roma, and Carlo doesn’t seem to think he fits their tactics anymore – so that one’s a great big heave of the shoulders. Inter? Would they attempt to bring him back half hoping to work some magic, half hoping to take an eye for an eye by swooping in and nabbing a Silvio favorite after ex-Moratti lovebug Ronaldo moved to the other half of the San Siro? I wouldn’t put it past Moratti, but if Mourinho is on his way to Milan, as many suspect (like me), then you can cross that one off with a big fact permanent marker. Juventus? They’ll be busy fighting off Milan for Amauri and I’m not sure I see Sheva appealing to them.

Tactically there would have to be a lot of tweaking – perhaps finally seeing that two striker system or dropping Francesco back into that treq spot – but that’s a subject only for if and when it happens. I have to say I think Roma will roll up their sleeves and burn the midnight oil to make this one happen, but I can’t be sure it will happen. They will probably only be the backup option to Milan, and Roma will have to wait on those developments before Rosella starts providing his agent with extracurricular favors in the hopes of dropping his price. Until then, wait and see.

In the end, despite the fact that I hold great hope that he comes to Rome, it’ll be fine either way. If he does don Kappa next year, I see him as 08-09’s Gabriel Batistuta. If not, oh well, they’ll still walk out onto the pitch come next year’s first giornata with the new Sheva, currently calcio’s greatest Eastern European import, ready to shepherd them to the promised land.

(Hit mute.)

Valeri Lobanovsky

No, he is not a transfer target, he has actually been deceased since 2002. Valeri was Dynamo Kyiv’s long-reigning coach, and the man who mentored Sheva when he was still but a buding phenomenon. A pretty good player (left wing), his greatest claim to fame was creating a system under which a team could thrive, rather than a group of highly gifted individuals. The system was very similar to one employed by the famous Ajax Total Football team, but it was based more on fitness rather than extreme skill based purely on resources. His teams absolutely dominated Soviet football and on three occasions he took them to their peak as a club (like their CL run which eventually brought Sheva to Milan). The only great export from this system, the only person who could really thrive in the West, was Andriy Shevchenko.

There has been much talk of Luciano Spalletti’s Roma in the same sentence with that same Ajax team and Total Football recently, and it’s not unfounded. Andriy made his name in another system which was similar. Andiry could again make his name in a similar system under another soon-to-be-great coach. I am 100% convinced if Sheva came to Rome, The Poobah could take him back to the promised land.

* – This was really ironic, because I wrote that Genoa/Sheva bit up top on my flight yesterday, and only picked up my book while we were beginning our descent. Much of the first chapter was on Lobanovsky, and there were a few mentions of Sheva – the two automatically clicked in my mind. It’s not exact, but it could and would work – and don’t think for a second Sheva and his handlers don’t know this. (The book is Jonathan Wilson’s Behind the Curtain: Travels in Eastern European Football, if you’re interested.)

Palladinho

First off, let’s dispel the notion that Alberto Aquilani would be sold as a part of any deal involving Juventus – or anyone else for that matter. Not happening. I haven’t seen the original source, but something tells me it’s called Sportutto, or the like.

I see Palladino as perhaps the ideal replacement for Mancini for the versatility he provides as a lateral forward with pace, skills and the strikemanship (that’s a new word I just made up) of a striker. I think of him playing against Roma and I think of a guy who was born to play the wing effectively, at the very least, in the unique Spalletti system: slicing in to space, holding the ball, creating towards the box and the capabilities to find the back of the net and the height to find the end of a cross. Basically, he’s a middle class Vucinic. I’m very appreciative of all that Mancini has done for Roma in his past years after being such a find, but I can do nothing but hope that Juventus has an interest in him, and is willing to part with Raffaele in return (plus a bit of cash, of course). The Roman puzzle is still not finished, but I fully believe he is one of the remaining pieces.

(Or maybe Spal just has a crush on Napoletano wingers: Espo, Toto, Fab Quags and now Palladino. It must be only a matter of time before Foggia is linked.)

Manchester Nuggets

I) Rio Ferdinand is “doubtful” but Sir Alex is “hopeful”. Guess what? Speculation is useless. We’ll find out tomorrow and that is that.

II) I convocati:

ANTUNES Gabriel
AQUILANI Alberto
BRIGHI Matteo
CASSETTI Marco
CICINHO
CURCI Gianluca
DE ROSSI Daniele
DONI
ESPOSITO Mauro
GIULY Ludovic
JUAN
MANCINI Alessandro
MEXES Philippe
PANUCCI Christian
PERROTTA Simone
PIZARRO David
TADDEI Rodrigo
TONETTO Max
VUCINIC Mirko
ZOTTI Carlo

III) Never look ahead, Saffy, never look ahead….

“If we get by this one, the difficult one of course will be Barcelona – a marvellous football club and a good football team.”

I’ve never had much respect for Fergie as a person, just as a coach. Even mentioning Barcelona before the second leg has been played doesn’t help. What a classless fuck.

What killed me was watching this team quit after the second goal. At that point, in the standard universe, the quarterfinals were effectively over. But that doesn’t mean the second leg was going to operate in a standard universe. Manchester could somehow see two quick red cards, maybe even a penalty, and Roma would be back in this game. Maybe the difference would be in a goal. Never quit. More so, never want to quit. They should know at least that much after last year. That, to me, is more disheartening than a loss.

After today, I’m ready to see two highly inconsistent Brazilians shown the exit door. I feel like saying Amantino played horrible would be giving him too much credit. Just seemed lazy and unaware of what the hell he was supposed to be doing on the pitch. And then Doni. I just don’t know what to say. He had a spectacular run for two months around the turn of the year and I thought a lot of people started drinking the kool-aid again. Today? What was that? Where was he going? How many brain cells does he have? Far too inconsistent for the likes of a true contender. Maybe I’ll feel different in the morning, but if Rosella sold them tonight I wouldn’t shed a single tear.

Would Totti have made a difference? Probably, but Vucinic was the brightest spot of the day, and was really the only consistent scoring threat. Clearly deserving of the left wing spot over Amantino this weekend, and possibly much longer. Surely a consideration going into the summer.

(And what I find funny is two players whose contract extensions – or lack thereof – have incited a good deal of criticism over the past months both severely shat the bed over the last two games. Interesting, is all. Perhaps it’ll be the right move in the end.)

What else do you say? Not much, really. I still can’t wrap my mind around what happened.

Barring a miracle, it’s time to start thinking about the domestic trophy hunt – they’re still in the chase for two, after all. And considering the performance they just put up against a very good team, and the fact that they won’t see a team in Italy close to that level for the rest of the year, all hope is not lost. That performance would have been enough to beat most, if not all, of their remaining Serie A opponents. It’s the thinnest of silver linings, but it’s still something.

Maybe someday soon Journey will get brought back out again, but right now, this is all I can come up with: