Great Hair Debate: Round 2 Bracket

Round Due:

Alright, the first round is up and there really weren’t many surprises. In fact, allow me to pat myself on the back for the seedings - there were only two upsets in the whole first round, and none below a 11 seed. Which means I did a damn good job with my analysis. I’ll be faxing in my resume to the NCAA Selection Committee ASAP. Unfortunately some of the match-ups will have to have repeat photos, but I’ve done my best to scare up some obscure pieces of evidence (even though my hard drive is trying to vomit most of the pictures up). Here’s the last round wrap-up as well as the Round 2 bracket:

The Roundup:

Mexes v Palacio: Rodrigo Palacio actually got a vote. I’m not going to name names because that would be far too embarrassing, but you know who you are. Shame on you.

James v Toni: 19-8. David James simply dominated Luca Toni with his quality side part.

Davids v Loco: 10-4. Sorry Loco, you can’t mess with a legend.

Perlaza v Aziawonou: 12-10. Yao Aziawonou put up a damn good fight, but there is no way to beat a double mullet. No way, my son. Admittedly, maybe Yao should’ve had a higher seed, but there’s always next year.

Becks v Ronaldo (The Real One): 15-1. Becks with the complete domination. That one? Mike. Figures.

Torres v Lara: 14-3 (+2 for Lara via penalty to Mike and ben for ABBA references) Also, there was a write-in vote from DB for Roma’s Diadora uniforms. DB is obviously a think-outside-the-box type of guy.

Fernando Torres is a future hair legend waiting in the wings. His press conference for his Pool signing was no disappointment. The Scousers just don’t know how lucky they are yet.

Xavier v Owomoyela: 12-0. Clean sweep. Just wow. The Willow Tree put up a poor poor showing. F-

Rino v Lucho: 13-4. Gattuso will soon be the starting free safety for the New England Patriots, because Eugene Wilson is coming off a long-term injury and Brandon Meriweather is liable to kick someone in the face during the season - which might net a suspension. He could be a strong safety if necessary but he needs more freedom to roam sideline to sideline. Just an FYI.

South Bracket:

Nedved v Chippen: 7-7. Guess who got the tie-breaker. Just guess.

Cisse v Tymoschuck aka Doug Dorsey: 11-1. Dominant performance from Cisse, he’s becoming a mid-tournament favorite. Dorsey was a huge underdog from the start. He just didn’t have The Cutting Edge. (You didn’t think I knew, did you)

Sergio ‘Hot as Balls’ Ramos v Kunert: 11-6. Kunert didn’t stand a chance. Neither did my lunch after re-reading Martha’s description of how it is possible to be ‘hot as balls.’

Freddie Lj v Danijel Lj: 12-3. Don’t fuck with the Freddiehawk.

Drenthe v West: 13-4. The first upset of the tourney, by Taribo aka Mr. President. Aliens always win.

Coloccini v Ronaldinho: 11-6. The Statue of David wins. But his girlfriend doesn’t. (I fear for Laurie’s children)

Rosenberg v Cesc: 8-5. Much to my dismay, the Swedes never really showed up in this tournament. I guess I’m going to have to move to Scandinavia, dye my hair blonde and start up my own salon. I mean barber shop.

Totti v Love: Votes for Love didn’t count, even though some people thought they could vote against the icon of Roma while slamming the seeding of said icon (ahem, Sam). As punishment, you’re forced to be a fan of Ligue 1. Oh, wait….

The Second Round Bracket:
North Bracket

1. Philippe Mexes CB AS Roma
8. David James GK Portsmouth

5. Edgar Davids CM Ajax
4. Jose Luis Perlaza DF Centro Deportivo Olmedo

6. David Beckham RW Real Madrid/LA Galaxy (I’m still refusing to admit someone can go from Real to the MLS)
3. Fernando Torres ST Atletico Madrid

7. Abel Xavier DF LA Galaxy
2. Gennaro Gattuso CM Milan

South Bracket

1. Pavel Nedved AM Juventus?
8. Djibril Cisse ST Marseille

5. Sergio Ramos CB Real Madrid
4. Freddie Ljunberg RW Arsenal

11. Taribo West CB Julius Berger FC
3. Fabricio Coloccini LB Deportivo La Coruna

10. Cesc Fabregas CM Arsenal
2. Francesco Totti ST AS Roma

I think the match-up of the second round will definitely be Becks v Fernando Torres of ABBA & Liverpool fame. Mexes v James’ side part is a great second round matchup but I have faith that Philippe will pull through victoriously. James has fallen on his face too many times in his hair styling career while Philippe has been awesomeness personified on a consistent basis. It’s looking at this point like there could even be an all Roma final, with Totti and Mexes as two favorites heading in, and who can argue. We also can’t forget the obvious sleeper ability of Cisse aka Villanova 1985. Taribo West looks to be the weak link heading in, but who knows. His impending political career seems to have created an entirely new fanbase.

Today will have the Mexes v James match-up alone. I’m going to try to use one of those online poll thingamajiggies from here on out but I need to figure out how to embed one first. The voting turnout has been mediocre at best. It’s like a US Presidential election in here. This way the poll won’t be such a sample anymore. At least that’s the plan.

Category: Hair Debate

Tags: Bracket, Hair Debate

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